Friday, April 29, 2016

Taking Offense and Finding Humor Within ANR

Because it has been a hectic week and we are preparing for S' departure, which means attempting to fit in as much together-and-family time as we possibly can before he leaves, I had previously planned a few different things for my TGIFriday post, but a message that I received this morning really caused me to reflect on some things, and led me to write this article.

Although S and I have practiced the ANR lifestyle throughout the course of our marriage, I didn't understand that there were others--many others--who enjoyed the experience, too, and after wondering for a very long time if we were "normal", that way of thinking led me to do a lot of soul (and Internet) searching about six years ago. I found a limited amount of information on ANR, but a lot of what I discovered viewed the lifestyle questioningly, negatively, or in a light of fetishism, so I closed the computer, and gave it very little more thought until we re-opened our dedicated ANR, incorporating lactation into it, in March.

It was then that I decided I wanted to meet other ANR couples and people who shared our ideals regarding the lifestyle. By the time I made the decision to seek out others, I had already begun blogging about my personal journey, and was shocked to find that visitors were actually reading my posts--and enjoying them! It was a humbling and amazing experience, and because of the support and encouragement, I continued to write with a liberating freedom and a lot of joy.

While doing some research online, I happened upon a website dedicated entirely to the Adult Nursing Relationship; I won't mention the specific website, but it was there that I began to meet some truly wonderful people, and there that I learned even more about this lifestyle. Although we don't all view ANR in the same way (and why should we? After all, it's a very private journey, and our reasons for embarking upon it are uniquely exclusive to each of us), I found that we all share a very basic desire: the need to nurse. I have formed friendships with many of these people, and many of them now follow my blog, come to this site, and leave beautiful private messages for me. (If you are one of those people, then I am sure you know which website I'm referring to.)

One of the reasons I was drawn to this particular website was its very basic, no-frills appearance; it is not overrun with images, and there are guidelines on what is considered appropriate--and what is not. I appreciate and respect that. This site offers many features to its visitors, including discussion boards, a forum, live chat, and a message center where members can communicate with one another. I also found it very interesting that this site offers free space for personal blogging. Because I became so busy with my own blog, I found that I wasn't able to frequent the site very often; I participated in a few discussions, shared some of my thoughts, and occasionally enjoyed utilizing my personal blogging area. Readers' responses were very supportive, and so kind and uplifting. Because of this, I posted a blog on the site earlier in the week.

And that's where I inadvertently made a mistake. 

Uh-oh. I used the "B" word.

I did. I used the word boobs.

And it seems that I have overstepped my bounds.

Apparently, I am a rebellious guideline-breaker who must now bear the branding of the dreaded Scarlet B upon my blouse for the ANR world to see. ;)

One of the site moderators actually contacted me about the error of my ways, and after a bit of consideration, I sent a return message to her, politely, but firmly, defending my position.

The offensive post ( a simple copy and paste of Boob Chat: Part II) was my most popular one. Readers left messages that read:
  • I love it!
  • Thank you for brightening my day!
  • Hilarious!!
  • You have an agile mind and you can WRITE! I look forward to reading more of your posts.
and appreciated the tongue-in-cheek humor of it, while generously commiserating with the struggle of being a big-breasted girl, and adding their own humorous anecdotes in the comment section. Some who didn't feel comfortable enough to publicly comment left me private messages.

It's so odd to me that the blog post that received the most positive responses from readers is the one that the site's mod found the most inappropriate--and took upon herself to delete.

I get asked a lot of questions, and one of the most common is: Do Christians judge you and leave rude messages for you, telling you that your lifestyle is wrong?

No. They do not. I have spoken to many Christians since I began blogging about my lifestyle choice, and their response has been overwhelmingly encouraging.

It's ironic, isn't it, that I managed to offend the moderator of a website that caters specifically to ANR and breasts simply by using one euphemism on a personal blog, but have yet to offend the sensibilities of many who do not participate in such a lifestyle.

Although I take my own ANR very seriously, and respect others' lifestyle choices as well, I am still able to find the humor in it. And there really is humor in all aspects of life and relationships, including the adult nursing one. Believe me on this, I know! Trust me, there is nothing funnier than almost suffocating your husband during a soothing nursing session. This actually happened, thanks to my boobs breasts. S and I shared so much laughter that night--it truly enhanced the feeding experience; we felt so giddy and light-hearted. (It's a really funny story, and I think I'll turn it into a blog post! :))

Not everything is meant to be offensive--and not everything should be construed as such.

And this includes using the words boobs, knockers, and jugs in reference to the female breasts.

I am a female. I am also a fierce advocate of positive body image. Women are fabulous beings--and all breasts are exquisite, regardless of shape, size, or how you refer to them. Sometimes, euphemisms aren't meant as derogatory; sometimes, they are used as mere alternatives. I discuss "breasts" every day, and I'm afraid there are only so many times that I can type that word without sounding repetitive, so...I sometimes use alternatives. Sometimes, euphemisms are even cute. Breast Chat just doesn't have the same ring to it as Boob Chat.

I could have ignored this entire topic and conveniently swept it under the proverbial rug, but I chose not to. Staunch stoicism is sometimes necessary, of course, but humor is important, too, and laughter is vital--it's what keeps many of us going throughout the day.

After exchanging messages with the mod earlier today, I'm not sure that I will be a welcome addition on that site any more; as a matter of fact, I might have been banned. I don't know because I haven't bothered to check. I'm okay with an account deletion anyway, because I honestly realize that although I am a member of the ANR community--and proud of it--that site and I aren't a very good fit for one another. It's much too stifling for someone like me. :)

Regardless, I know that I am always welcome here.

And so are you!

Happy Friday!

Happy Friday from LMM ❤️


Thursday, April 28, 2016

Separation Anxiety and ANR

S is leaving.

I knew this day was coming. I've known for quite some time now, and I've been able to put his departure out of my mind and focus on everything that is wonderful. But now that the time is drawing near, it is all that I can seem to think about.

We've been apart before in the past, often and for very long, difficult periods of time, under much worse circumstances. You would think I would be used to it by now, wouldn't you?

But I'm not.

I hate it when he goes away.

I know that it won't be forever. He'll be home again in a week. And what's a week, really, when you think about it?

Seven days. 168 hours. 10,080 minutes. 604,800 seconds. 1/4 of a month.

It will seem like an eternity to me.

When he is away from me, the house seems so empty and our bed feels so lonely. At night I sleep on his pillow, and it brings him closer to me, but it's never enough to really satisfy me, because I miss feeling his chest pressed warmly against my back and his arm curled protectively around my waist as we spoon through the night. Every night that we have been together, we have slept that way for almost 15 years (unless a little one has had a bad dream or was frightened awake by a thunderstorm, and feels comfortable enough to snuggle down between Dad and Mama in their big, warm, cozy bed with the piles of soft pillows and fluffy queen-sized blanket), and I've grown very accustomed to his night-time presence.

Perhaps even too accustomed to it.

When S leaves, it always feels that he takes half of me with him. And I never truly feel whole again until he walks back through the door, filling our home--and my world--with his strength and security.

I miss watching him shave in the morning and sharing coffee with him at the breakfast table. I miss listening to him read a bedtime story to our daughter and telling our sons good-night. I miss his voice, the way his laugh fills an entire room when he's really amused by something. I miss him.

I am already beginning to feel the on-set of separation anxiety--and it's horrible.

But I think it's one of the realities that you have to face when you are in a committed ANR. You invest so much of yourself in another person that it's difficult to let them go--even for a little while. And the challenge of separation doesn't just stem from the act of nursing, but from the emotional drawing and pulling that comes along with nursing. Even if it is temporary, that connection is hard to break.

And, now, even more so because I am lactating.

I have reached a level in my lactation journey that I am very comfortable with right now. Although I plan to continue on to full lactation in the future, a goal that S and I have been working together to accomplish, I am satisfied--and thrilled--with what my breasts have achieved in just one short month. My milk supply has come in beautifully, and continues to increase, replenishing itself quickly after each feeding, but I remain at the place where I need S to draw it from my breasts, as I haven't yet reached the point of being able to express through pumping. This is another concern: I don't want to suffer from engorgement, and I certainly don't want to drop to a lower level of lactation.
S and I have spent many hours discussing our situation, and he was open enough to tell me how difficult the separation is going to be for him, too, while also showing so much support and encouragement regarding my milk dilemma. (It's so wonderful to have a supportive partner who reminds me every day that he is not nursing from my breasts for the milk, but for the intimacy and deep connection we share; even though I understand completely that he will dry nurse just as contentedly as he is feeding now, I have grown very, very fond of my milk, and I know that he has, too, and I honestly do not want to see a decrease in supply.)

After weighing and considering our options, and deciding that, as the end of the school year grows closer, it just wouldn't be practical for me to join him out-of-state, I have chosen to pump in his absence, to provide as much breast stimulation as possible. By pumping during each regularly scheduled nursing time, and possibly a couple of times in between, if time permits, I hope to maintain my milk supply, which, of course, is why I have been on a proper breastpump search and find mission over the past two weeks. :) The Mister and I are going breastpump shopping on Friday evening, as a matter of fact, which he ought to find a lot more interesting than shoe shopping, which I have been known to do on the rare occasion.

Now that I've had time to truly think about our situation, I'm sure that everything will be okay. Things often have a way of turning out better than you think they will. I am confident in the abilities of my body--and my breasts--and secure in knowing that even if my milk supply is hindered by this impending week-long separation, I have a loving man who will be eager to return to the shelter of my arms and the comfort of my bosom.

But I'm still going to miss him...

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Dear Wives: An Open Letter to You from Me

Dear Wives,

Although we have never met, I feel that I know you, and I'm sure we have more in common than you could possibly realize, as we go through the very real ups and downs of daily life, balancing the responsibilities of marriage, motherhood, and careers, but I'd like to tell you a little bit about myself so we can get better acquainted.

I am the married mother of three. My husband and I will soon be celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary, and throughout the course of our marriage, I have been a nursing wife, which means that my husband, S, and I are deeply involved in a committed Adult Nursing Relationship, what many in our unique community refer to as an ANR, in which he suckles from my breast for the purpose of nurturing and comfort.

The practice of ANR is often misunderstood; people are quick to question (and sometimes judge) our decision to bond in such an uncommon manner. It is difficult to explain our desire for this lifestyle, but it is a choice that I will never regret.

When a man approaches his wife with the intention of expressing the desire for an adult nursing relationship, he has taken the first step onto the path that leads to this amazingly exquisite journey of joy, devotion, and self-discovery. He gives her the first of many gifts to follow, that completely open, honest, and unguarded part of him that he has never shown to another woman before, a woman that he holds high above all others, a woman he entrusts his heart with, a revered and generously loving woman of strength, that part of him that now belongs only to her. At the very moment he humbles himself before her, the bonding has begun.

In many ways, my personal ANR has strengthened and emboldened me as a woman. To know that I am the only woman to have ever fulfilled his deepest yearnings and strongest needs is empowering! And I am honored to be that woman. My husband comes into my arms at night, not only to suckle from my breasts, but to run the palms of his hands gently along my skin, as if to memorize its texture, and to listen to my heart beat, a heart that beats for him, a heart that belongs to him, because, you see, it is very much connected to his own now. When he is lying in my arms and I look down at him, with his eyes closed and his face set in calm relaxation as he nuzzles against my breast, I see a strong man, a courageous man, a loving man who is generous with his emotions, and secure enough in his own masculinity to admit that he is merely human--and comfortable enough to allow his wife to be the strength within the partnership, even for the most fleeting of moments. And I fall in love with him all over again.

My husband and I share a pure love, an open love, a freeing love, one without physical and emotional barriers. It is a passionate love, a fierce love, an honest love, and it is unlike anything I have experienced before. I am blessed to know such a love.
Dear wives, if you are reluctant to nurse your husbands, I can understand why you would feel uncertain about embarking on such a journey; the true committed ANR is sometimes a complex relationship because it requires a great deal of emotional and psychological responsibility, and it isn't always easy to see our breasts as both sexual and nurturing. I could tell you that you shouldn't feel "uncomfortable" or "weird" when your husband comes to your breast, but that would be unfair to you. The adult nursing relationship, the reasons for choosing to nurse and the feelings that come from nursing, are very personal and unique to every individual. I could tell you that you will experience unimaginable intimacy and closeness and share an unbreakable bond with your husband, but I think those are things you will have to discover for yourselves. I have learned so much about myself and my husband throughout our nursing journey, and I would like to share what I have been given, and what I now know, with you.

On an emotional level, I am stronger. Life seems less stressful. I feel less anxiety, or, at least, seem better equipped to handle it, and this helps to create a more calm and peaceful home environment. I am completely satisfied, and this makes for a content husband and happy children. Little things make me smile, and I take great joy in life.

I am connected to my husband physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I have seen into his mind and into his heart. I now truly know my husband and understand him, and just when I think I couldn't possibly love him any more, I realize that I can--and I do. Every day feels like the first day we met. When 5:30 comes around, and I know that he will be coming home to me, my heart soars with anticipation because I cannot wait to see him.

My husband and I have a greater mutual respect for one another. He is careful with my feelings, attentive to my needs and desires, and gives freely to me without question, without expectation.

I feel beautiful. When we are lying together in our bed, surrounded by the silence of night, my husband is free to shamelessly love and cherish every inch of my body; he sees no imperfections, notices no flaws. I have no need for concern, no need for self-consciousness. He views my breasts as perfect, tells me that they are the most beautiful breasts that he has ever had the privilege to see, and constantly reminds me that he is amazed by what they can do as they comfort and sustain him. My husband makes me feel like a woman, like a lady, like the most adored female who has ever graced his presence, and to have the opportunity to see myself through his eyes has been an amazing gift.

Many people have actually told me how well I look. They use phrases such as "you get prettier every time we see you" and "you're glowing." My husband makes me feel as if I'm glowing. And, truthfully, there have been physical changes since I chose to incorporate lactation into our ANR.

My skin is softer and smoother and my hair is silky and shiny.

My breasts are fuller and firmer with a natural lift.

My weight is very easy to maintain.

Not only do I sleep better at night, but I rest easier, too. Nursing is soothing and very relaxing. When my husband comes to my breast, we are the only two people in existence. The world fades away, taking all troubles with it, and I feel nothing but a tranquil serenity that brings me such a welcoming peace of mind.

There are wonderful health benefits associated with nursing, including reduced risks of diabetes, osteoporosis, and breast and ovarian cancers.

Nursing does not replace traditional forms of affection, but enhances them. My husband and I hug more often, kiss more passionately, and automatically reach for one another's hand--sometimes simultaneously, as if we can read each other's thoughts.  His touch is so exciting! I feel tingles when he rubs my shoulders or presses his lips to the backs of my fingers.

We long to be together. Always. There is no place my husband would rather be than in my arms. He hurries home to me in the evening, secure in the knowledge that I will be eagerly awaiting his arrival, and I am secure in knowing that this is where he wants to be. I love having his undivided attention!

Nursing has taught me to prioritize and evaluate what is truly important in my life. There is no better investment than the time you make for--and give to--your husband. Your relationship will flourish and thrive by sharing just a few minutes of your time with him. Our marriage has never been stronger, and even after nearly 15 years of marriage, it continues to improve every day.

When I am too tired to fully enjoy sex, nursing is a beautiful substitute. It satisfies me completely in ways that sex does not. (And, believe me, the sex is fabulous! My libido has increased and my orgasms are overwhelmingly strong.) The level of intimacy within the ANR is just much stronger than even what lovemaking between two happily married people can provide.

Oh, Dear Wives, I could go on forever, discussing the benefits and rewards that I have received from sharing a loving, fulfilling, dedicated adult nursing relationship with my husband, but what I know comes from within a lengthy journey of self-exploration and reflection, an understanding that you, too, will find if you choose to someday offer your husband the beauty and perfection of your breasts.

Nursing is not a gift that you will give only to your husband, but one that you will give to yourself, too. And it is glorious!

I wish you and your husbands lifetimes of love and happiness,
LMM

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Bountiful Fruits Chat Room

To provide you with a place to meet people, make new friends, and discuss the joys of ANR, or anything you'd like to talk about, I've set up a new chat room! :)

If you'd like to join the discussion, simply click CHAT NOW and use BFANRC416 as your password!

Secrecy and Self-Discovery

It's very difficult to live a life of secrecy. In every aspect of our lives, S and I are open, up-front, and very honest people; we are truth seekers--and tellers. He is often accused of being blunt. Even after spending close to two decades of my life with this man, who has fathered my children and watched them come from my body and seen me through so much, I still find myself feeling a bit shocked by his raw honesty. And because of our principles and the way that we have lived our lives, hiding the fact that we are a very happily married nursing couple is challenging--and seems wrong.

We are both very comfortable with our nursing lifestyle; we see it as just another normal and healthy aspect of our marriage. We are more in love than we have ever been before, and our complete happiness and satisfaction has truly improved other aspects of our life. Nursing certainly doesn't harm anyone. It's a beautiful bonding practice wrapped up in terrible stigmas and misconceptions. A lot of people don't understand the complexities involved within ANR, they don't understand why we choose to practice ANR, and I can certainly appreciate their questions as to why this is something that S and I need and their polite curiosity. And although it's pretty hard to explain the reason behind the practice (we want to, we enjoy it), it's extremely simple to share the benefits that have come from nursing: the closeness, the intimacy, the strengthening of the foundation relationship. Unfortunately, most people who have learned about our lifestyle seem to want to focus on the act of nursing itself rather than what stems from that act.

There are times when keeping such a secret makes me feel that what we are doing is shameful, and I don't like to feel that way. The shame is in the secrecy.
Admittedly, S would be far more open about our ANR if I were ready to divulge the truth. I know that our true, closest friends would be understanding, if not mildly curious, and accepting of our ANR, but family? Well...family can pose a different problem.

This blog, and the non-fiction articles that I have been working on, is another secret. I enjoy my work so much, but I can't tell anyone about it. I am proud of what I have accomplished over the past month, I am thrilled to have met so many wonderful people, some of them who have now become friends, and I would love to share my happiness with my parents and my grandmother, just as I've always shared the other joys in my life with the people who mean the most to me, but I just can't. It's stifling, but I know they simply wouldn't understand.

And, let's be honest, even in the most traditional "vanilla" aspects of married life, parents simply do not want to know what goes on behind the closed doors of their children's bedrooms. I'm pretty sure my mother understand that S and I have indulged in sex at least three times throughout the length of our marriage; after all, there are three cases of proof evidence that she adores running around her house every Saturday evening, but she certainly doesn't want to know how that evidence came to be. :)

My mother stopped by for a visit the other day, and as soon as she had hugged the children, she turned to me and said, "I never see you anymore."

"There's been a lot going on lately. I've just been really busy," I said.

"Busy with what?"

"I'm forcing my seedlings, and it's time to start turning the garden and digging up my flower beds, and it's close to the end of the school year--you know that keeps me tied up."

My mother nodded.

Just when I thought I had everything under control, a sweet little bird-like voice piped up with, "And my mom's working on her blog."

My youngest, who is renowned for being a secret-spiller, and who always gasps and cries, "Oops! Sorry!" immediately after realizing the error of her ways, had decided to chime in on the conversation. She looked so cute, standing there with her eyes sparkling and her dimples showing, that I couldn't bear to be upset with her. As a matter of fact, I was somewhat relieved.

"A blog?" The question was addressed to the little one. "What sort of blog, K?"

"I don't know," she replied. Turning from her grandmother, the little one looked up at me, and said, "What sort of blog, Mama?"

Now I had two pairs of eyes on me. My mother and my daughter were waiting quietly, expectantly, and with great anticipation, ready to learn more about my writing endeavors.

"It's about relationships," I said. "Specifically, my relationship with S, how he and I have kept our marriage so strong over the years through bonding and intimacy."

"Ahh," said my mother. "I'd like to read it sometime."

No, you wouldn't, I thought.

By the time S got home that evening, and I had the chance to tell him about the conversation I'd had with my mother and our little one, it all began to seem really funny. We laughed about it, and he teased me by saying, "You should have given her the link to your site. She'd have loved it."

I smiled, but as I was standing there, I really began to think. I had a moment of self-discovery that night, and before S could leave the room, I turned to him and said, "You know what? I'm tired of hiding this. It's too hard, it's causing stress, and I feel that my values are being compromised--not by our ANR, but by the secrecy surrounding it. We know that nursing is right for us, we have seen the positive effects it's had on our marriage, and what goes on in the privacy of our bedroom is really no one else's business."

"That's right," said S. "And we don't owe explanations to anyone. You never need to feel that you have to convince others that we're right--or disprove their way of thinking."

"I never want something that's so beautiful to be construed as wrong. I'm going to continue being open in my blog, and I really want to do my videos and podcast. And, I'm not going to worry about whether or not our family or our friends find out about this part of our life. I love it--and I love you so much. What could possibly be wrong about that?"

S always seems to know when I need him the most. He crossed the room, took my face in his hands, and leaned down so he could look me in the eye, and said, "Nothing. There is nothing wrong with that."

We all have our moments of self-doubt, I think, when we feel that we need to convince even ourselves that we're right about a particular lifestyle choice or a decision we've made. If we're lucky enough, that beautiful moment of self-discovery will follow the nagging questions and relieve the burden of stress. If something is right, you simply know that it's right, and no amount of criticism or negativity can ever change that.

I feel even happier about the lovely ANR I share with S now that I've had my own "Ah-ha Moment". I feel extremely courageous, possibly because I understand the depth and breadth of the intimacy and passion we've been fortunate to experience along the winding paths of this exquisite journey.

I truly feel free.

Of course, the odds that a family member or friend will just happen to stumble upon my blog are very slim; after all, my work is something of a niche, catering to a very specific group of people--people like me, and like S--who seek information and understanding, and, perhaps even, something of a camaraderie.

I'll be very honest: I have not yet reached the point in my life where I am prepared to share my posts with them, or fill their Facebook newsfeeds with links to my site (although I would love to), but I am extremely comfortable with knowing that there is a chance that they will find me on their own. It could be a wonderful learning experience for all of us, and I am prepared to answer their questions openly and honestly. I have simply decided, however, that I will not explain my lifestyle choice to them. I will never attempt to answer the age-old question why?

What else did my moment of self-discovery teach me?

It's something that I've always known, something that I needed to be reminded of.

Yes, I nurse my husband. He comes to my breast for nurturing and for comfort, and I absolutely love it. We are a nursing couple. And it is indeed a secret that I keep. But it isn't a terrible secret. It isn't a shameful secret. It is a secret of love--a love that defies all meaning, an unexplainable love that pulls us closer into one another and connects our very souls.

And there is nothing wrong with that.

Monday, April 25, 2016

Flowers from a Golf Course

Mr. S and our oldest son spent yesterday afternoon on the golf course, and this is the text I received from my love:


Sunday, April 24, 2016

The Nursing Diary: Week Four

The Fourth Week (4/17/16-4/24/16)
 
Another week has come and gone. We have completed Day #28 in our lactation journey, and everything is going very well. It's hard to believe that four weeks have passed since the Mister and I re-opened our ANR! The days have flown by, and because of the beautiful connection we're sharing, both he and I are positive that this was the right decision for us! What was wonderful before almost seems perfect now, almost surreal in some ways, and we are more in love than ever before, something that I never believed could be possible.
 
We have remained dedicated to our nursing schedule, and have missed only one morning feeding; as time has gone by and my lactation level has increased, with fuller milk supply, we have added a few off-schedule sessions to our routine (as time allows) when I've felt that it was necessary to ease fullness and mild discomfort.
 
It's been very interesting to watch the transformation in my breasts take place, and S and I have enjoyed the changes as they've occurred. There is even greater fullness in the areola, and over the weekend I realized that (another) new bra will be a necessary purchase, as I have increased another cup size. Hopefully, this will be the final increase, as my boobs are getting to be much, much more than a handful--and expensive! ;) Finding bras in my size is a challenge, sometimes a frustrating one, and I have had much better luck ordering them through catalogs than buying them in stores.
 
During nursing sessions, the let-down reflex is happening at a much faster rate than it was last week. It is now taking fewer "pacifier sucks" before S falls into that slow, soft, swallow-suck rhythm that tells me he is being nourished as well as nurtured. It's so exciting! He is swallowing at a much greater rate now, too; frequently and fairly regularly, bordering on constantly. He continues to nurse for 20 minutes at each breast, and remains latched for an additional five minutes per side to help with the "empty and replenish process". Since this set time has worked so beautifully for us, we've decided not to change it in any way.
 
I have only experienced leakage three times, so at this time, I don't feel the need to begin using nursing pads, as it hasn't posed a big problem, although I do seem to let-down at somewhat odd times throughout the day--and during intimate moments, even though I am not fully lactating at this point.
 
I haven't suffered from engorgement; my milk supply seems to be fairly evenly distributed and flowing well. Twice, as my supply has increased, the right breast (which was the one that began lactating first, now, and even during my pregnancies) has been a bit stubborn with the initial release. When this has happened, S moved to my left breast, nursed for the set amount of time, and then returned to the right side and was able to feed without any problems. When I asked him, he said that he is getting the same amount of milk from each breast.
 
Recently, I was asked a very interesting question regarding my menstrual cycle; the question was: will this affect your cycle? I had to answer very honestly. I just don't know yet. Although some women's periods stop while they're breastfeeding, mine never did. This time may be a bit different; I am two days late--and can definitely rule out pregnancy--so it might be possible that the nursing has altered my cycle slightly.
 
Physically, all is well and wonderful, but emotionally? Well...for the most part, things have been fantastic--as far as my pleasure at being able to nurse my love goes, that is. Unfortunately, we've had a few (thankfully minor) things to consider as a nursing couple that have put something of a strain on me. But I know we'll work through these tiny incidentals as a couple and come to a resolution that's perfect for us! :)
 
All in all, it's been a wonderful week, the fourth in many more to come!

To read my complete Nursing Diary, please CLICK HERE!

Why I Love Mr. S: Reason #128

Saturday was extremely eventful! Along with our weekly date, I had my very first ever podcast interview! Wow!

Believe it or not, I am something of an introvert. (I know, shocking, right? :)) I always seem to have a lot to say, but I just find it a lot easier to express it through the written word rather than the spoken word, so giving an interview was a bit nerve-wracking!

My love knew how challenging it was going to be, so he took extra good care of me! This TLC included a back rub, lots of kisses, and many, many words of support and encouragement. He also took the children out for the afternoon to ensure that I had plenty of peace and quiet during my Skype session.

It really is the little things that mean so much!

So, how did it all go?

Pretty well...I think. I actually found my voice, remembered how to speak, and didn't suffer from too much tongue-tied-itis...so, I'm happy!

And the romantic evening that followed was magical!

I hope you are enjoying your Sunday  and that your weekend has been wonderful.

I'll be back tomorrow with new questions (and answers) on my advice page as well as a brand new ANR interview, and new posts will follow throughout the week.

Happy Sunday!

Saturday, April 23, 2016

Peek-a-Boo

Boob Chat: Part II


Hello, everyone!

It's Silly Saturday, and that means it's time for another installment of BOOB CHAT! ;) Here we go...


Boob Chat: Part II


"Pardon me, madame, but there seems to be an onion between your breasts."

It sounds like the opening to a really bad joke, doesn't it?

I wish it was, but, unfortunately, there is no punchline waiting to be delivered right after that carefully timed pause for effect.  It is the story of my life.

I was born with natural crumb catchers. A boob shelf. A breakfast buffet. Call it what you like, but it all leads to this:

Big-Breasted Girl Problem #93:

Eating!

You wouldn't think that eating would require a great amount of skill, would you? After all, it involves the simplest of techniques--you just raise your arm, being sure to bend it at the elbow, and bring your utensil to your mouth.
(It's so easy even a child can do it!)

Yes, well, a child doesn't have two watermelons lodged in the front of their blouse, making the trip from dinner plate to mouth a journey fraught with bumps, hills, and dangerous curves.

When you stand a mere 60 inches in height, as I do, the challenge grows perilous, because my arms are short to match the rest of me, and they have trouble making the trip around the globes. I sort of have to bring my mouth toward my food and meet them half-way. Over the years, I have learned to eat with as much grace and dignity as my boobs will allow. And every time S and I dine at a nice restaurant and I see the carefully starched and beautifully folded cloth napkin waiting to be primly draped across my lap, I want to laugh.

It isn't my lap that's in danger.

Menu selections are another challenge. Oh, how I long to be the girl who can throw caution to the wind and spend long moments leisurely browsing over dinner options before making her exotic selection. I rarely look at a menu, particularly if S and I are dining at a familiar place. I sit across the table from him, watching as he studiously pores over his menu, as if he'll be tested on what he's read.

Our conversation will go something like this:

LMM: Well? Have you decided yet?

Mr. S: Wow, I don't know. There's a lot to choose from. Hmm...I think I'm going to have the insert intriguingly fabulous name of dish here. [Closes menu, sets it aside, and smiles across the table at me] What about you, baby? What are you having?

LMM: The California Chicken Salad.

Mr. S: Again?

LMM: Yes...again.

Since I can't really see my plate, I like to order dishes that I'm familiar with so I always know what I'm eating. The thought of sticking a fork full of the unknown into my mouth scares me--a lot.

The struggle is real.

There are two psychological traumas that envelop me whenever S and I dine out. Let's discuss them, shall we?

Trauma 1: Paranoia.

Our waiter arrives to take our orders. But he isn't the one who returns several minutes later with our plates. It is a different man and he is grinning.

My mind immediately creates a scenario that involves those men having a hushed discussion behind closed doors.

Waiter 1: You should check out the tits on the lady at Table 14.

Waiter 2: Let me deliver her food.

This really happened (well, the different waiter part), and I'm not sure that it actually was paranoia I was experiencing because when I thanked him for my salad, he said, "Oh, no, ma'am. Thank you."

Trauma 2: Embarrassment

One evening, S and I were having a wonderful dining experience--right up until the time our food arrived. The waiter politely set S' plate in front of him, and encouraged him to enjoy it. I sat quietly, in anticipation of my own dinner plate, but the waiter never moved. He just stood statue-like, with an oddly uncomfortable half-smile playing over his face, my plate still clutched tightly in his hand.

How rude! I thought. I tried to catch S' eye, to silently alert him of our waiter's impudence, but I stopped myself when my gaze wandered downward and caught a glimpse of something else.

My boobs were on the table.

Actually on the table.

I quickly sat back, allowing space for my plate, and the problem was rectified immediately. The waiter set my dinner in front of me just as politely as he had done with S', and then walked off--presumably to tell his co-workers what had just transpired at Table 6.

(See Trauma 1: Paranoia, above)

And speaking of plates...if I am not really careful, my knockers will end up in those plates. I have ruined countless blouses. I no longer wear white. My wardrobe consists of black tops and tunics and shirts and sweaters. I always wear black--even in the summer--because it camouflages so nicely. Because of this, people often confuse me for a goth--or Morticia Addams.

Here's a joke for you!

LMM: You know the biggest problem a girl with big bazooms has after eating?

You: No. What?

LMM: An hour later, she's still hungry!

You: Hahaha

It's lame, I know. I apologize. I just made it up. But it's true. It's very difficult to feel wholly satisfied after dining when a large portion of your meal ends up down the front of your blouse. How does this happen? Where does it go? My bra is already filled to maximum capacity--it doesn't seem logical that there should be room for one more thing in there! But, somehow, there always is.

Dining when you are a buxom lady comes with its perks. After all, eating does offer the scintillating element of surprise to every meal. One evening during dinner, my eyes fell on a beautiful cherry tomato resting on a bed of crisp greens. It was absolutely perfect--round, plump, and vibrantly red. I couldn't wait to eat it! I wrangled it onto my fork, lifted it to my lips, and opened my mouth, ready to take that first juicy bite.

Surprise!

It was gone.

When I glanced down, I found it, nestled in that vertical line that is perfectly formed when two big boobs come together to create cleavage. It was staring at me, taunting me.

"Shoot," I said.

S glanced up from his own plate. "What's the matter?" he asked.

"I dropped my cherry tomato down the front of my blouse," I replied.

He took a quick peek, and then gave me one of his nicest, most reassuring smiles. "Don't worry about it," he said. "I'll get that later."

That is me. A sensual smorgasbord of selections. ("Oh, you're hungry? Would you care for a cracker? I happen to have one under my left boob... ") I am a walking, talking, breathing human goody bag.

Oh, dear. What's a big-breasted girl to do?

Hmm...

I guess we just bounce our way through life...and laugh along the way!

Happy Saturday!

To read Boob Chat: Part I,
please CLICK HERE!

Friday, April 22, 2016

TGIF: Pumps and Flanges but No Video??

Before I plunge right into this post, I wanted to let you know that my original TGIF plan was to post my very first video, which I was really excited about. S just bought me a fantastic brand spanking new laptop, which I absolutely love, and an amazing video editing program, which I was so incredibly excited about, and wanted to love. Unfortunately, I haven't had the chance to sit down and really work with figure it out. I hope to do so on Sunday afternoon, and have my video up, running, and fabulous in no time. :) Since a video post is out of the question, I decided to start working on a breastfeeding guide, which will include information on various nursing products and supplies.

I have never been an active pumper. I exclusively nursed all three of my children, and because there always seemed to be a baby attached to my breasts at any given time, it never seemed possible or practical to pump. I've tried a couple of different brands, and was just sort of "meh" about them. When my middle child was born, I made a lot of breast milk, almost a crazy amount of breast milk, and no matter how often he (or his father) was fed, my tatas would almost immediately replenish themselves. I got into the habit of hand expressing as soon as baby went down for his nap after a feeding, and had much better success with that than with my electric breastpump.

However, now that I am lactating with just a husband to nurse on a somewhat limited basis, I am considering the idea of pumping, more for stimulation than actual expression. And since I gave my electric pump (just the actual pump--not the parts) to my friend, who was new to nursing at the time, I am in the market for a new model.

When I discussed the idea of pumping with S, he was great with it, and told me to pick whichever breastpump I preferred (sort of like the ANR version of selecting a pretty piece of jewelry ;)), which led me to do a lot of research on the subject.

To read what I discovered about the Medela Harmony Breastpump, you can CLICK RIGHT HERE
or find your perfect flange fit HERE!

Thank you for stopping by! :) Happy Friday to you!

Thursday, April 21, 2016

The ANR Juggling Act: Part 1

Monday was busy.

Tuesday was hectic.

But Wednesday? Well, Wednesday was crazy.

My day started at 5:45, just as it always does, with an early morning nursing session, followed by breakfast for one big person, for whom I also had to find black work socks , finish packing lunch and fill a travel mug with coffee.

It was then time for my morning oatmeal and a bit of blogging before three little people were up and clamoring for their breakfast (one request for cereal, another for pancakes, and the little one wanted a peanut butter-covered banana).

As soon as the breakfast dishes were in the sink, the school day commenced, and I had to wash those breakfast dishes (and answer emails) before taking a 10:00 telephone call. (Thank goodness for the mobility of cell phones! I was able to take my caller with me when I carried the laundry downstairs and threw it in the washer--and double thank goodness that I have such keen ears and was able to hear the clink clink clink of one micro machine and two pennies hitting the washing machine agitator as they fell from the pocket of a pair of grubby little blue jeans!)

I dusted and vacuumed. I picked up the sofa throw pillows from the living room floor again, and when I confronted the children as to why they were on the living room floor again, two of them pointed fingers and accused each other of doing it. One stayed very quiet (so, I'm guessing he was the culprit).

It was then time for lunch (one request for grilled cheese, another for peanut butter and
grape strawberry, no, definitely grape jelly (and please cut off the crusts) sandwiches, and the little one wanted celery sticks, raisins, and an apple), which, of course, meant there would be lunch dishes that would need to be washed, one load of laundry to put into the dryer, and a second load to go into the washer.

The school day resumed, so I fertilized my seedlings, watered my house plants, carried a bag of garbage out to the can (which is conveniently located at the bottom of a sloping embankment and at the top of our driveway), and lugged the freshly-dried laundry upstairs so it could be folded and put away before I went back downstairs to transfer load #2 from the washer to the dryer.
And there's more...
Amid all the chaos and clamoring I was attempting to find private alone time for breast massage and expression...
Once the school day was over, activities included message checking and email answering, a bit more blogging, the partial writing of a non-fiction article that I hope to submit (soon) to a fairly well-known magazine, and a scintillating round of Payday.

By the time S came through the door at 5:30, dinner was in the oven, I was folding my second load of laundry, and  hadn't yet emptied the mop water out of the bucket. One child couldn't find his tablet charger, another decided that it would be a really good idea to re-purpose some Legos by transforming them into the Simpsons with paint on my dining room table, and the little one had parked a pink plastic shopping cart overflowing with stuffed animals and little rosebud-print china teacups in the middle of the kitchen floor.

"Wow," S said after he'd kissed me, "it looks like you've been busy today."

I looked up at him, still holding tightly to a little pink Hello Kitty shirt, and said, "You know what? I really think we should take this show on the road."

"Why?" he laughed.

"Because I am ring-mastering the craziest three-ring circus known to man!"

Once Dad was home and the five of us were seated around the dining room table, a sense of tranquility washed over me.  We spent a nice leisurely hour talking about our day, and when the table had been cleared and the dishes washed, S and I played a few hands of UNO with the children and sent them on their way.
Alone at last! Finally...I can breathe!
It is my nightly routine to indulge in a warm bubble bath late in the evening, a personal indulgence that is absolutely crucial to my survival if I am going to be able to even think about pre-bedtime rigmarole and the events that are taking place the following day. The warmth of the water and the luxuriousness of the bubbles are so soothing, so calming, perfect for aiding in relaxation and a good, proper let-down reflex, which will ensure a beautiful night-time nursing session. With the Amazing and Maniacal M Sibs (the clowns who routinely perform in our three-ring circus) under the care of their father, I am allowed those blissful 45 minutes of glorious peace and quiet--and I love them without shame.

Before the indulgence, however, I always check my messages one more time. When I opened my inbox, you won't believe what I found waiting for me. It was a message that read:

Hi!
Do you have any tips or advice on juggling three kids and an ANR?

And that's when I started to laugh...

It's funny when you think about it, isn't it, that life itself is just one big juggling act. We balance romance and parenthood, careers and vacations, family time and free time, and try so desperately to keep them all circling smoothly in the air so nothing ends up on the floor (like my throw pillows!). And somehow, we manage--and can even find the humor in all of that horrible, wonderful commotion.

Some of us simply choose to add one extra thing to the mix.

And when you sit down and really think about it, you realize it isn't that difficult to do, after all.

If you truly want to add an open and loving ANR into your personal juggling act, you just do it. You make time for it. Although the wet nursing relationship is a bit more challenging to incorporate into an already hectic lifestyle than bonding purely for intimacy without lactation, it is still viable. You just have to find those fleeting alone time moments and use them for manual stimulation, expression, or pumping (at the minimum, you'll need 20 minutes every 2-3 hours to aid in really great milk production, but if your schedule doesn't allow that, juggle it! And stimulate when you can! ;)) This is what I do, and I can assure you that you'll still see positive milk-making results, and you'll be a lot more relaxed, too!

The beauty of an ANR is that it's flexible, and adaptable to any couple's schedule. Find the nursing time that works perfectly for you, and consider that time your time. All couples need adults-only time--even if they aren't nursing during those rare moments. When inducing lactation, the schedule is a bit tighter, as it needs to be set and regulated, but there is much less structure in dry nursing. Your partner can suckle any time that you both have a few free moments, and for as long (or briefly) as time allows.

The best advice I can give is really very simple: do what is right for you! Adult nursing is a beautiful part of life, and should be enjoyed completely, in a content, harmonious, and relaxed way!

Happy Thursday! :)

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Clean Green Lactation

If you are attempting to make breast milk--and an ample supply of it--I'm sure you know how laborious the process can be; maybe you've even looked into ways to make the magic happen. I've found that there is a lot of milk-supply-boosting information available out there, but the majority of it comes with varying opinions on whether or not a particular technique actually works. All of the "try-this-it-worked-for-me" and "don't-do-that-it-doesn't-work" can get really confusing. Some women are so confident in their success that they supply new-to-nursing women with Fact and Myth sheets, which I feel can be inaccurate and misleading because the truth is, all women are different. Their bodies are exquisitely unique, and a technique that hasn't proved successful for one woman just might work for another.

When it comes to making milk, there is no room for myth-busting, and sometimes, learning what works to aid in your own personal milk supply is just trial and error, and if you're lucky enough, you'll just happen to stumble onto a "magic trick" that works perfectly for you! :) I believe that women should try a variety of inducing techniques (and combine several of them) that they're comfortable with, and then once they find their ideal method, they should stick with it. (And maybe share what they learned with others! ;))

Although I can't settle the age old beer-works-no-it-doesn't-yes-it-does-but-it-has-to-be-dark-beer debate, as I've never tried incorporating it into my own milk-making mission, or proudly proclaim that "fenugreek worked for me!" (because I've never taken it), I can weigh in on one very interesting topic, the one entitled:

Nutrition and Lactation: Is there a Connection?

Why, yes. I believe there is.

To continue reading Clean Green Lactation, please click HERE!

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Letting it All Down (and OUT)

A woman's body is an amazing thing, and although it may seem that making milk is a magical process, there are no black-tipped wands or smoke and mirror tricks to aid in fast milk production. Lactation is a labor of love, particularly if you have not recently given birth or breastfed a baby when the body is all about making milk--and making the process go smoothly.
"So, I recently started nursing and am able to feed my husband a little milk, but he's getting irritated because it seems to take forever for it to come out! It's frustrating!"
This seems to be a common problem among new-to-nursing couples who have chosen to induce lactation within their loving ANRs, particularly for the male partner (sorry, guys!) who dreams of full, firm, milk-filled breasts and enjoying a mouthful upon initial contact. It's a nice dream, but unfortunately, the milk-making process doesn't work that way.
A woman's body and brain must cooperate and work together as a team to ensure proper lactation. The mammary glands contain wee alveoli, which come together to form tiny cavities in the breasts, and these cavities fill with milk-producing cells. When the nerve endings in the nipple and areola are stimulated, the brain receives a signal to releases prolactin (which tells the alveoli to gather proteins and sugars from the blood and turn them into milk) and oxytocin (which causes the cells surrounding the alveoli to contract and eject milk down the milk ducts). And this all comes together to create the "let-down reflex".

Poof! Just like magic! :)

But not really...

To continue reading this article, please click HERE!! 

Monday, April 18, 2016

One Man's Opinion: The ANR Experience

Good Monday to you! I hope you enjoyed your weekend, and are ready to face a new week!

Today's post is the first installment of a brand-new interview series that I will be sharing on my website, which you can visit by clicking THIS LINK RIGHT HERE!! Every Monday, I will be sharing a brand-new real-life ANR story with my readers, and to kick things off, I thought it would be fun to introduce everyone to the one and only Mr. S! :)

I hope you enjoy this!

Mr. S has been the Loving Milk Maid's constant companion for 16 years. They will soon be celebrating their 15th wedding anniversary, and together, they are the parents of three perfect children, who range in age from 7 to 14. Throughout their marriage, they have shared a loving ANR, and continue to work diligently on building their relationship and strengthening their marriage.

Mr. S has graciously agreed to share his thoughts on the dedicated adult nursing relationship he shares with his wife (as if he had a choice!) in "One Man's Opinion".
 
 
One Man's Opinion
An Interview with Mr. S
LMM: Some people say that they have longed for a committed ANR their entire life. Was it that way for you?

Mr. S: No. I had no idea that I would be interested in something like this until I met you. After E [our oldest son] was born, I think that's when I realized that I wanted to try nursing. I wanted to be a part of what you two were sharing.

LMM: I remember when you first came to the breast for proper nursing...the baby was about three weeks old...

Mr. S: I remember.

LMM: I could tell that you wanted to nurse, but you wouldn't ask.

Mr. S: I wanted to ask, but I guess I was too shy.

LMM: You? Shy? Yeah, right!

Mr. S: I really was. Even after everything we'd been through, I thought it was too much to ask for; maybe I thought you'd think it was strange.

LMM: Even after the whole time I was pregnant? When I was lactating, and didn't stop you from enjoying yourself?

Mr. S: That was different, though. That was breast play...and you were really into it. What I had trouble asking for was proper feeding. There really is a difference. And there's always that fear of rejection.

LMM: If I hadn't taken the initiative and offered the breast to you, do you think you ever would have asked to be nursed?

Mr. S: I think I would have. Eventually. After I watched you and E, I started to understand how much I wanted that bonding experience, too. I wanted to be as close to you as our son was. So...yes. I know that I would have asked. I'm glad you're a mind reader, baby, and knew to take the first step, though.

LMM: At least you felt comfortable enough to tell me what you wanted afterwards.

Mr. S: That was the easy part. I'm a lot more fortunate than some men. You're really into this, too, and it makes it so easy to be able to open up an ANR and completely enjoy it.

LMM: And we do!

Mr. S: Yes, we do.

LMM: In your opinion, what is the best thing about our ANR?

Mr. S: You mean aside from the fact that I get to have your boobs in my mouth, at the minimum of, two times a day?

LMM: Umm...yes. Aside from that.

Mr. S: It's complete sharing. It's a totally open, totally honest relationship. I've never felt closer to another person in my entire life, and I love it. I love the intimacy. I love the way you rub my hair and my face while I'm nursing. You make me feel so good. When I'm at the breast, everything disappears. It feels like nothing else will ever matter again, that there's just you and me. It's a good feeling. It makes me feel protected instead of having to be the protector. And I like being so close to you.

LMM: We're connected now.

Mr. S: We are.

LMM: What do you think is the biggest challenge that men face within their own ANR?

Mr. S: I think it's the fact that we're placed into a certain category, and expected to behave a certain way because we're male. We're taught that "real men" don't cry, "real men" aren't sensitive. "Real men" don't have feelings, but if they do, they aren't supposed to show them. I could have let myself fall into that trap, and I think I did, in a way. Now, I don't care who knows that I have emotions--or how much I love my wife--and that's because of you, the way you showed me years ago, that I could have a sensitive side, and it was okay. You know I'm crazy about you, baby.

LMM: Awww...

Mr. S: Awww...

LMM: There really is that fear of vulnerability, isn't there?

Mr. S: Yes. Nobody wants to feel vulnerable--or be viewed that way.

LMM: Do you think that's why some men have difficulty asking their partner for the breast?

Mr. S: Of course. When you ask your wife to be nursed, you're literally throwing yourself out there to her, exposing every emotion, every part of you, it's letting your guard down, really letting her inside your head. That's hard to do; I think there would be a lot of questions, a lot of fear that she might see you differently.

LMM: Because feelings are fragile...

Mr. S: They can be, yes. Maybe it depends on how thick-skinned you are, though.

LMM: You mean, when it comes to the possible rejection of being turned away once you ask for a nursing session?

Mr. S: Yes. Some people handle it better than others, and have the mindset of "oh, well. At least I asked". I don't know if it's actually the rejection itself, or the way you would feel afterwards. Maybe it would make you feel stupid? I don't know...nobody wants to feel stupid.

LMM: Let's talk dry versus wet nursing. We've done both.

Mr. S: We have. Many times.

LMM: Do you have a personal preference?

Mr. S: You know I love both. I always have. The bond is the same whether there is milk flow or not. I would nurse from you even if you never produced a single drop of milk. There is so much intimacy involved in an ANR. We give and take completely. In a way, both of us are bringing raw emotion to our bed. You're giving me a part of you that no other man has ever known, and I'm showing you how much I want it, how badly I need it.

LMM: But what is your preference?

Mr. S: If I had to choose, which obviously I do right now, I would say that wet nursing is my preference.

LMM: I knew it! So, what is it about the milk aspect within our nursing relationship that you love so much?

Mr. S: For me, breast milk takes that intimacy to an even higher level. You constantly amaze me. What your body can do amazes me. I'm also impressed and surprised by how fast you've been able to re-lactate. I can't describe how it makes me feel to be able to drink from you. I love doing this with you. I'm a lucky man.

LMM: It really is a partnership, isn't it?

Mr. S: It is. I really liked the first few days, right after we decided to re-lactate, when your body and emotions began the hormonal process. There was such a soft, needing side to you that made me feel even more like your protector. You seemed so fragile and feminine...it was very intense, very emotionally moving. I knew that I could bring something important to you, something that you needed, something that only I could give you. It was a good feeling.

LMM: I always need you.

Mr. S: I always need you, too.

LMM: Tell me your opinion on the benefits of sharing a true, dedicated ANR within the bonds of a loving partnership.

Mr. S: Aside from the incredible level of intimacy, I think couples will fall even more in love because their commitment to each other is going to be a lot stronger. They'll be spending time together, without any worldly distractions, and might even learn some new things about one another. It's sharing on the highest level imaginable. They'll work together as a team to make this possible, and working side by side is the best way to come together as a couple. Physically, I honestly feel better, too. I sleep better at night, I'm fully relaxed, and ready to take on the world the next day. I don't know if that's because of your good, healthy milk, or if it stems from my emotions, but something is definitely working.

LMM: Now that we have re-opened our ANR, and you're fully aware of the pleasure it brings, if I were to ever end the nursing relationship, would you still need it so deeply that you would consider looking elsewhere for a nursemaid?

Mr. S: Absolutely not. I am 100% committed and faithful to you. I do not love you because you allow me to nurse. It's a bonus inside our marriage, but it is not the reason I stay. I can't imagine doing this with anyone but you. I don't want to do this with anyone but you. I won't lie, if we stopped nursing, I would miss it, but I guess we'd have to find something else to do as a couple, to be able to share that hour of alone time.

LMM: Like bird-watching, maybe?

Mr. S: Yes, like that. Why? Are you stopping this?

LMM: No. I just thought I'd ask. You know, inquiring minds and all...I have a couple more questions.

Mr. S: Ask me anything, baby.

LMM: We've always done our best to keep our nursing relationship private. How do you feel, knowing that I now blog about this? And that well over 5,000 people have taken a glimpse into such a personal part of our life?

Mr. S: I think it's great. I'm so proud of you. The emails and messages you've gotten have been very meaningful--and I know the support and encouragement and acceptance of our lifestyle has meant a lot to you. And I really believe that you're helping people. I want you to keep going, I want you to succeed. It's good, very, very good.

LMM: Do you think you'll ever be comfortable telling people about this?

Mr. S: Oh, yeah. I'm ready to start opening up publicly right now.

LMM: Are you serious?

Mr. S: Yes. Are you really surprised?

LMM: Yes...

Mr. S: I want everyone to know what nursing has done for us as a couple. I'm not ashamed to let anyone know that I feed from my wife--or that I'm the man who has the privilege of being with such a smoking hot lady.  I am amazed by our relationship, by every part of it, including the fact that after almost 15 years of marriage, it continues to grow, it continues to improve. And I love you more every day. It isn't just the ANR that's done all of this, but it's a big part of it, I think, and that's why I'd encourage others to at least try nursing once. If feeding plays a part in keeping a marriage strong and together, then I'm all for it, and know that it can only be right. I'm not embarrassed. I keep it quiet because I know that you aren't ready to explain this to our families yet. We need to bring more attention to nursing, and work to change the misconceptions and the negative way it can be viewed.

LMM: I agree! Thank you for letting me interview you.

Mr. S: Any time. You know I'll do anything for you, baby.

LMM: I love you.

Mr. S: I love you, too.


I hope you enjoyed "One Man's Opinion", the first installment in the Bountiful Fruits interview series. Next week, (4/25/16), I'll be sharing Maddie's personal ANR story in "ISO LT ANR".

Would you like to tell the Loving Milk Maid about your personal ANR? If you have something you'd like to share, just get in touch with her! (You can choose to remain anonymous). Your personal interview may be featured on bountifulfruits.com!

Sunday, April 17, 2016

The Nursing Diary

To read the Loving Milk Maid's personal nursing diary, please click HERE

Is ANR a Fetish?

Wondering if the adult nursing relationship can be considered a fetish is a very good question--and also a valid one, particularly if the curious person who is interested in beginning a deficated nursing relationship has very strong religious beliefs.

Before I answer that question, I think we should clearly explore the true definition of the word "fetish".

Fetish is defined as the need for an object or body part for sexual desire; whether its real or only fantasized about, the object's presence is psychologically necessary to fulfill sexual gratification. If it is not, a fetishist (the person with the fixation) cannot be sexually satisfied.

To continue reading this article, please click HERE where you will be directed to www.bountifulfruits.com.

Saturday, April 16, 2016

Boob Chat Part 1

Breasts. Boobs. Knockers. Hooters. Tits. Jugs.

The girls. Melons. Goose bumps. Mosquito bites. Sweater stretchers. Liberty bells.

Tatas. Chi chis. Golden globes. Double lattes. Headlights. Mankillers. Lady bubbles.

Tittaaaaayyyyyyssssss-ah!

Party pillows. Jingle bells. Peaches. Marshmallows. Bouncy castles. Shoulder boulders. Maracas. Baby buffets.

Whatever you call them, you know they are fabulous, so let's talk about them!

To continue reading this article, please click HERE where you will be directed to the Bountiful Fruits website.

Friday, April 15, 2016

Herbal Supplements and Milk Supply

One of the questions I get asked most frequently, particularly now that I am making milk is whether or not I use herbs to aid in the production process, and the answer to that is no, I do not.

Just as every other aspect within your own ANR journey belongs solely to you, the decision to incorporate herbal supplements into your pursuit of lactation is a personal one. Although I know many women opt to add supplements to their lactation techniques routine--and several have reported great results in doing so--I just don't think they're right for me.

We all do what we need to do as we head into our milk making mission, right? 

Even though herbal supplements are not my personal preference when it comes to boosting breast milk, I think the idea is interesting, and I'm always open to new learning experiences, so I've been studying up on the subject, and decided to share what I found with other women who might be considering herbal options.

Here are some things to consider as you read this post:

1. Herbs may come packaged as "organically certified", but they are not FDA approved or regulated.

2. Even though they are natural, herbs should be used with caution, as you can suffer allergic reactions and "overdose" if they are not consumed properly.

3. Herbs do have side effect warnings.

4. Herbs can negatively affect prescription medications, as they do carry drug interaction warnings with them.

5. You should always check with a medical care professional before you start an herbal regimen.

6. Many herbs are not recommended if you are breast feeding.

7. Herbal supplements will pass through milk and can be consumed by your partner.

8. Although there are many other milk-inducing herbs available, I'm discussing the ones that seem to be more commonly used among breastfeeding women.

9. The herbs listed in this post are often used to aid in many health issues (ranging from diabetes and heart disease to digestive problems and kidney disorders), but I am focusing solely on their lactation properties.

10. Because there are drug interaction warnings associated with these herbs, and because the list is fairly extensive, I'm using the words "some" and "several" as a generalization; such as "this may be harmful if combined with some birth control pills"; you can check with your doctor to be sure that a particular herb is right for you. :)

11. The term "hormone sensitive condition" refers to cancers of the breast, uterus, and ovaries.

Now that you've read all of the boring (and scary) stuff, let's talk herbs!

Ready? Here we go!

A galactagogue is an herb that is used to help increase breast milk production in nursing mothers, and here are some of the most commonly used ones:

To continue reading this article, please click HERE where you will be redirected to the Bountiful Fruits website.

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Menopause and Lactation

Recently, as we were lying in bed together just before a nursing session, S turned to me and very sweetly informed me that he planned to continue feeding until he was 90. I laughed (and so did he, although I'm pretty sure he was serious), but the idea of nursing into our lovely golden years (as we wait for our grandchildren to come for a visit ;)) brought up a lot of interesting questions.

The one I asked myself most frequently was:

Can lactation be achieved after menopause?

To be able to provide accurate information to you, I did a lot of research on the subject and even talked to my friend, Holly, who is a Labor and Delivery RN, and has "connections" in the lactation consulting field, and was able to get the answer I was looking for.

To continue reading this article, please click HERE to visit bountifulfruits.com.

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

ANR?? Ah-ha!

I wrote this particular entry a couple of days ago, and although I wasn't quite sure when I would post it (both here and eventually on my new site www.bountifulfruits.com), I knew I really wanted to touch on the subject of discovering the lifestyle of the loving ANR. I was in the middle of lunch preparations (you know, that mundane part of my real every day life that takes a bit of the mystique and lore away from the Milk Maid ;)) when my phone chimed, adding to the already ensuing chaos caused by three clamoring and really hungry children, alerting me that a new e-mail had arrived in my inbox from a woman named Samantha. Here is what it said:


I just had to let you know how helpful your blog has been in being able to let me open up and express my desires for an ANR with my husband. I have been so filled with excitement since him and I have come to an agreement and, as I'm sure you can relate, I just want to shout from the rooftops about how incredible this experience is but we refrain! So I just had to share how much you've changed my life! I had no idea there was title for what I was wanting. Thank you!

Not only did Samantha's beautiful message move me, (and make me so happy to know that she and her husband will now be sharing an exquisitely intimate nursing relationship of their very own), it made me realize that today would be the perfect day to post this! So, here we go!

At one point in my life, I didn't realize that adult nursing relationships existed. When S and I began nursing 14 years ago, I had no idea that, in a less talked about "underground nursing world", there was an actual name--with its own abbreviation, even!--for his routine feedings within our committed relationship. I didn't know if other men breastfed from their wives, or if other women allowed themselves to enjoy something so "forbidden" and oddly fascinating; after all, ANR isn't a subject that comes up in every day conversation. Women will happily discuss the beauty and benefits of breastfeeding their children for long hours on end, but when it comes to nursing their husbands...well, not so much.

I only knew that S and I loved the experience--a lot!--and because we were seeing the wonderful benefits of sharing such intimate moments, we continued to nurse. Privately, of course, but contentedly and without shame. With every nursing session, I felt myself being pulled closer into him; I felt connected to his heart. 

And I still do.

After many years of nursing, and a lot of pondering (I wonder if other people reslly do this? I wonder if they like it? I wonder if we're the only ones who do...), my natural curiosity finally got the best of me, and one afternoon, after my youngest had been fed and was contentedly napping in the nursery, I did a quick online search that went something like this:

Do women breastfeed their husbands?

I learned d a few things that day (including the fact that some rather, well, interesting photos will pop up when you perform such a search), but I think the most helpful thing that I learned from the magic of the Internet was that S and I were not alone; there really were other couples out there who enjoyed healthy, loving, committed, and very normal suckling relationships. What we were doing had a legitimate name, and by all standards, was an actual lifestyle.

The problem, I found, however, was that there was very little information (and what was available was sporadically scattered about and difficult to cohesively read) out there for those of us that enjoyed the loving bond and incredible intimacy of a true, dedicated ANR. I wasn't looking for "hookups" or pictures, personal ads or role play information. I was looking for honest discussions, open opinions, and real life experiences. 

Unfortunately, I never found what I was seeking.

Bountiful Fruits is my small piece of the exquisite world of the loving ANR, and sharing my journey and experiences has been my contribution to it. I'm humbled and blessed to have been given an opportunity to connect with a lot of wonderful people who have graciously shown support and encouragement to one ordinary woman. Thank you so much!

I hope you will continue to visit my blog and take a moment to stop by my new site (www.bountifulfruits.com), and I hope that you find my posts helpful, informative, and maybe (at least a little bit) entertaining. ;)

In closing, I would like to share with you what I wish had been available to me years ago, and what I've come to realize after many years of happily nursing my husband--what you are "doing" is perfectly natural, completely "normal", and totally beautiful! Yes, there are others out there who "do it", too, and only we can understand the incredible bond you and your partner share. And there is a name for it. Say it with me: "A.N.R.!"

Take care! Be happy! And have a wonderful Wednesday!

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Levels of Lactation

Did you know that the process of lactation can be measured in levels? I didn't, either, until a nursing couple shared these gauging tips with me! As I read through them, I found them really interesting--and incredibly helpful, particularly now that S and I are in the process of inducing lactation within our own loving ANR. (Thank you, mlklvr! :))

Although I can't promise that this information is scientifically sound, I can assure you that these tips are a GREAT resource to refer to if you are hoping to "level up in lactation".

(I kept all of the basics intact, but wrote them up Milk Maid style! ;))

Here we go!

LEVELS OF LACTATION

1. The woman's breasts feel softer after a nursing session.
2. Her partner can feel fluid on his tongue while nursing.

To continue reading this article, please click HERE!

Sunday, April 10, 2016

The Second Week (Nursing Diary)

Two weeks have passed since S and I decided to introduce lactation into our adult nursing relationship, and I have experienced several emotional AND physical changes.

On an emotional level, as a couple, my husband and I have grown closer than either of us could have dreamed possible. We are connected, attuned, and deeply and passionately in love. The fire of our long-time romance is burning with an encompassing heat, and we continue to bond on an incredibly spiritual plane. I feel whole, beautiful, and ALIVE.

S continues to be attentive to my every need, and lends support and encouragement as my lactation level increases. My emotions have reached an even keel, and I feel wonderful, both comfortable and content. 

We have followed our nursing schedule without fail for the past 14 days, nursing twice a day as planned, and I have begun to produce proper milk, which is thrilling for both of us.

Physically, my breasts have increased one bra cup size, and, because I cannot express milk on my own at this point, I have come to rely on S to ease my discomfort as the NEED to nurse has increased. He is available (and more than willing) to suckle, knowing how strongly I depend on him. 

I have noticed that just after our morning feeding, my breasts feel soft and lighter; as the day progresses (and normally around 1 p.m.), they begin to firm as milk supply increases, and feel fuller and heavier. Approximately an hour after that, I begin to feel the onset of the let-down reflex and manually express (although I am now seeing only drops of milk during the expression, it does seem to ease some of the slight discomfort while encouraging my breasts to produce more milk) my breasts. 

By the time S is nursed during our night-time feeding session, he is able to coax enough milk from my breasts that he must swallow while nursing. 

As my breasts began to produce milk, we discussed our lactation options, and decided that full lactation is the route we will pursue, although we are both extremely comfortable and content with my current level of lactation.

S reminds me that he will continue to nurse even if my  breasts do not produce milk because it is the suckling and intimacy that he loves.

I will update my nursing journal next week. I'm anxious to see if anything changes between now and then!

Saturday, April 9, 2016

Passion and ANRs

I have come to love Saturday. It is the one day of the week when we have no commitments or obligations; it is a day to spend the mornings lounging, when after a beautiful daybreak nursing session, we can lie for long moments, touching and kissing, our flesh warm from the other's body, the bed still rumpled from sleep.

I have come to love Saturday because, although the afternoon--and my time--belongs to the children, the evening belongs to us and no one else.

I have come to love Saturday because I get to go on a date with my husband.

When it is time for me to begin getting ready, I turn the children over to S and lock myself away to begin the process of preparing for the evening; I indulge in all the girlie things that we females do to ensure that we have our partner's full and undivided attention: the bubble baths and perfumes, the manis and pedis, the selection of clothing that they will love to see us in--and strip us of.

And when those long, luxurious moments are over and I step into S' view, I know that my efforts have paid off. I see it written all over his face, I see it in his eyes.

It is S who makes dinner reservations for  two and deliver our offspring safely to their grandparents, and I am eagerly waiting for him to come through the door once more.

He compliments me, helps me into my coat, and opens my car door; I feel so ladylike.

It is beautiful to date my husband.

Throughout dinner, S is attentively admiring me; he continues to lavish me with compliments, telling me that I am the most beautiful woman he has ever seen--and he is still in disbelief, after so many years, that he is the lucky man who received the privilege to marry me. We enjoy one another's company, eating leisurely so the moments will stretch, indulging in adult conversation: music, movies, culture, social and current events, his career, and my writing.

Just beneath the surface, though, there is a raging fire of passion and longing. Neither of us can wait to get home...

Our ANR, as I am sure you can understand from what you've just read, has worked magic in our marriage. A strong foundation relationship has become unbreakable as we continue to share a part of ourselves with one another, a private, unique part that belongs only to us. Our adult nursing relationship didn't repair a broken marriage; it simply improved upon what was already in place--love, respect, commitment, and dedication.

There is something about an ANR that lends a bit of mystique to an otherwise ordinary couple; there is a shared secrecy  that we both find very exciting. To know that once dinner is over, we will return home to lie close together on the sofa and I will take my husband to my breast where he will nurse contentedly as I fall more deeply in love with him is incredible.

Although I understand that an adult nursing relationship is not right for every couple, and I certainly respect their opinion on this personal choice, I do strongly encourage those who are considering such a journey to try the experience once. You may find that it brings renewed romance and passion into your relationship.

I hope you had a wonderful weekend! 

  


Date Night with the Mister!

I love to date my husband, and have come to anticipate our Saturdays when we will have long intimate moments that belong only to us. There is unspoken passion as we exchange eager glances across the breakfast table as the children scamper underfoot, a deep desire that must remain bridled until we're alone. There is something so exciting and intriguing about the careful preparations I will make to ensure that I turn his head and catch his eye.

I feel giddy.

Our personal ANR has helped to spark such deep passion and rekindle the fire of romance...we are closer physically and emotionally than either of us could have believed possible. It's so beautiful to fall in love...especially when you're falling in love with your spouse! ❤️

I have many articles (and maybe even a few surprises) planned for the upcoming week, so I hope you'll visit again.

Until then, stay happy! And enjoy your weekend!


Friday, April 8, 2016

Measuring your Success by the Ounce

Every nursing couple is unique, and their private ANR is a journey that they have embarked upon for very personal reasons. For some couples, dry nursing without a single drop of milk produced is wholly satisfying, for others, lactation (either partial or full) is a goal within the bounds of their nursing relationship, and although milk flow is a beautiful thing, it should remain a goal within your ANR instead of becoming the focus of it.

I am a strong advocate of both dry and wet nursing, and a firm believer in the whole "intimacy as opposed to milk" ANR creed. I have nursed my husband in the roles of both dry and wet nursemaid, and I can honestly tell you that both experiences were equally amazing and soul-encompassing, but it just so happens that S and I truly love breast milk. I love producing it and he loves coaxing it from my breasts; inducing lactation requires a partnership, a connection that is both emotional and physical. Because I am inducing, and now lactating at a fairly early stage, I need him on so many levels--he must be available for my physical comfort by nursing regularly, and he must be available to me on an emotional level (which is why his love-you-baby-and-thinking-of-you texts make my heart soar!). There are a lot of realities about lactation (which I hope to explore in a future post) that some new-to-nursing couples don't understand when they first begin their amazing journey, and  I, personally, think that is why some become disappointed, frustrated, and discouraged--they set very high and impractical goals concerning lactation.  

If making milk to please your partner because he believes that suckling must entail milk is the only reason you have opened a nursing relationship--and agreed to attempt lactation--then a true committed and dedicated ANR might not be for you. I've often discussed the emotional responsibility that comes along with the devoted adult nursing relationship, but emotional maturity is vital to every suckling success story.

S adores my breasts and handles them with such love and reverence whether they are producing milk or not. He makes me feel as if they are the most beautiful breasts he has ever seen, the most incredible breasts he has ever had the privilege to caress. He glorifies my breasts, and tells me how fortunate and honored he feels to be the man I chose to share my breasts with. Because of his abundance of gentleness and love for me, there is no stress, no anxiety or fears. I feel as if I am wrapped in love and security, and that is a wonderful plane on which to rest. This comfort, this ease has made it much easier for me to induce lactation because the process is much more than a physical one...it's an emotional one, too.

The "pressure to produce" is often extremely difficult for the nursing woman. Feeling that she is failing, or the inability to lactate to unreasonable expectations is mentally draining; some women are so desperate to produce an ample milk supply that they will turn to medication and herbs while incorporating constant pumping to ensure lactation. When milk becomes the mission, so much is lost within the loving ANR. Intimacy is replaced with technicality, and this can sometimes bring the couple to believe that the nursing relationship just isn't worth the effort.

But it is...as long as you set your sights on intimacy instead of milk.

You should never measure your success within your ANR by the ounce (the amount of breast milk you produce), but by each new level of closeness you and your partner achieve.