Wednesday, March 30, 2016

The Proper Latch

Breast play is a beautiful and intimate part of any loving relationship--sensual and erotic for both partners. I am so fortunate that S ADORES my breasts, and throughout the entirety of our relationship, I have made them available to him. Our relationship has always been based on mutual love and respect in an open and giving environment. To deny him the breasts that he worships and gains such pleasure from would be wrong; because of this, he understands that he can stroke, nuzzle, kiss, and caress them as his needs arise. He not only finds them beautiful, but comforting, and I absolutely love to cradle his head against them.

As wonderful and titillating (no pun intended) as erotic breast play and nipple sucking for pleasure is, it is NOT conducive to lactation inducing in an ANR. To aid in bringing about--or increasing--milk supply, your partner must suckLE rather than merely suck. Believe me, there is a difference!

Women are amazing creatures, complex at times, yes, but fascinating. Our minds work in an oddly powerful manner, which is why, I believe, that we can differentiate between breast stimulation for fun  and breast stimulation for nurturing. S quickly learned the difference, too; when I was breastfeeding our children, he was very attentive and often cuddled up with me and the babies while they fed. This close observation allowed S the opportunity to either nurse or merely engage in exciting sex play. He usually chose both! The proper latch is crucial to milk production, and S is REALLY good at it! When I teasingly asked him how he became such a latching pro, he laughed and said, "I learned a lot from watching our children."

This is actually very sound advice! I would suggest this to any man who is interested in embarking on a loving ANR journey, particularly those who are fortunate enough to have breastfeeding wives. Become involved with baby's feedings, watch how baby attaches himself to Mom's breast and pay close attention to the slow, steady rhythm of a nursing session. If your wife visits with a lactation consultant, join her.  It will be beneficial in many aspects of your relationship as a couple and a family.

In most cases, humans are born with an instinct to suckle, but over time as we mature and rely less on the breast for nourishment, we sort of "forget" how to latch and suckle, losing the initial instinct. Fortunately, it can be re-learned! And although it is the woman's job to make milk, it is her husband's duty to bring that milk FROM the breast. (See now why an ANR can be such a bonding journey for any loving couple? It really is a dedicated joint effort, something the two of you do together, something that only you share.)

The first thing that a nursing partner must remember is that milk does NOT come FROM the nipple. It simply flows THROUGH it. Harsh, rigorous sucking is futile and can actually cause milk ducts to collapse; in some cases, the breast can be damaged. if your goal is to induce lactation, I would suggest that couples save harsher nipple play/sucking for sexual encounters only.

When S nurses, he opens his mouth quite wide and takes as much of my breast in as he comfortably can, creating a seal around the areola. He then rolls his tongue back, bringing my nipple against the roof of his mouth, which applies the pressure required to stimulate milk flow. He suckles gently, falling into a sweet and slow rhythm, and will use his hand to apply firm, but gentle, stroking pressure to aid in bringing the milk forward and through the nipple. Minimum force is needed; harsh suckling, even used within a proper latch, is counterproductive--and painful! He is so attuned with and adept at nursing that he rests, with my breast still in his mouth, before picking up his perfect rhythm again. It's difficult not to grow extremely excited while nursing, especially when you've tasted the first drops of milk, but continue with the soft, slow rhythmic pattern without increasing pressure or pace. If S detaches temporarily, he re-latches properly before he continues with his feeding. As his loving milk maid, I encourage him with soft words, little kisses, and gentle caresses to remind him of how wonderful he is and how perfectly he is nursing.

As a woman who has had her breasts sucked AND suckLED, I know the sensation of a proper latch. During erotic breast play, the lips and tongue often focus on tickling and flicking the nipple; a proper latch feels as if a suction cup has been placed over your breast. The fit of mouth against breast is tight with no gaps at either side. The stimulation is deep, encompassing the entire breast rather than just the nipple.  My breast flattens somewhat as S draws on it, which encourages proper milk production and flow, and I often feel deep uterine contractions that are similar to the pulsing waves of an orgasm,  but stronger and more intense. If you are nursing your partner to induce lactation and wonder if he is latched properly, and you just happen to understand the feelings I described, then I'm sure he is doing very well!

Communication is an important part of any loving and committed ANR, so if something doesn't feel "right" or has made you uncomfortable, let your partner know. Learn the proper latch together, and feed him your breast to assist him. When attempting to give the breast to their baby or husband, some women think that they should grasp and pull back, flattening the breast and extending the nipple; in reality, the breast should be cupped at either side of the areola, extending it into more of a cone shape, and brought into the mouth. Remember, it's been a long time since he was nursed (if ever), so remain patient and loving and gentle. If he falls off rhythm and sucks at the nipple only, gently reattach him properly. Learning to nurse is part of the fun involved in an ANR!

It can take a bit of time to perfect the proper latch and find the correct rhythm, and sometimes even longer to induce lactation, but try not to become discouraged or frustrated; love, patience, and understand are key to any successful ANR. Relax and enjoy one another, and always remember that nursing is a beautiful thing.

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