Friday, October 28, 2016

New Articles on Bountiful Fruits This Week

Blog Posts:

Finding Your Place in the Adult Nursing Community
Building a Beautiful Nursing Relationship, Part III: Independence

Q & A:

Is Breast Milk Fluctuation Normal During Nursing?
Read the answer or in-depth article

Nursing After Menopause:

Can Lactation be Achieved After Menopause? Find out in this article.

Hormones Roles in Lactation:

Learn more about progesterone, natural progesterone cream, and how it can be used to aid in lactation during menopause and beyond. You might also be interested to learn these facts about NPC.

Inducing Methods:

Add areola massage and breast compressions to your daily inducing routine.
Nipple stimulation is a wonderful way to induce lactation, and can be especially beneficial for the menopausal woman. You can learn all about it here.

Bountiful  Fruits ANR Chat with Loving Milk Maid:

You can listen to “The Scary Misconceptions of the Adult Nursing Relationship, Part I: Fetish”, or read the episode transcript.

Forum Thread:

Does Spirituality Play a Role in Your ANR?
My Thoughts…
New threads include advanced lactation and preferred forms of stimulation.

Read all of this and much more by visiting BOUNTIFUL FRUITS

Monday, October 24, 2016

Bountiful Fruits Site Schedule for October 24-28

October 24-28

Monday: News and Updates; New Q & A; “Finding Your Place in the AN Community”, an
article on joining an adult nursing site perfectly suited to your lifestyle choices.

Tuesday: Blog post: “Building a Beautiful Adult Nursing Relationship, Part III: Independence”.

Wednesday: ANR Chat Episodes “The Scary Misconceptions of the Adult Nursing Relationship, Part III: Lactophelia and Part IV: The Oedipal Complex”.

Thursday and Friday: New articles for the older nursing couple and women who hope to nurse during–and after–menopause.

Saturday, October 22, 2016

New Adult Nursing Relationship Articles on Bountiful Fruits

All new on BOUNTIFUL FRUITS this week:

Q & A:

Can a Diabetic Woman Safely Nurse?
Read the answer or in-depth article

Are Oral Contraceptives Safe for My Partner?
Read the answer or in-depth article

Common Nursing Maladies:

Prevention and treatment of mastitis

Prevention and treatment of thrush

For the Nursing Couple:

Latching tips to aid in proper suckling

The comfort of the nursing woman is  very important during the suckling experience.

Learn the Bulls-Eye Latch and The Asymmetrical Latch.

Nurse using the Cradle Hold or Cross-Cradle Hold position.

Provide additional breast support using either the C or V hold.

Relationship Building:

Take the first step into the world of ANR by opening the conversation, uncovering the power of touch, and taking the time to connect.

Bountiful  Fruits ANR Chat with Loving Milk Maid:

You can listen to “The Scary Misconceptions of the Adult Nursing Relationship, Part I: Fetish”, or read the episode transcript.


Monday, October 17, 2016

Loving Milk Maid's Final Blog Post

Hello, everyone.

I hope you had a wonderful Monday.

I wanted to let everyone know that this will be my final blog post here. As wonderful as the past six months have been, the time has come for me to move forward and focus on my website. I simply do not have the time to maintain this blog and Bountiful Fruits.

Over time, posts will either be disabled, or redirected to Bountiful Fruits, which is growing into a lovely little ANR community, thanks to the wonderful people who have shown such support and encouragement. I have added many new features, including a forum and chat room, and I hope you'll consider joining me there.

Thank you again for a wonderful six months.

Life Lessons

While Mr. S and I balance our time handling everyday life and striving daily to improve and strengthen our personal relationship, we are also faced with the beautiful (and sometimes daunting) challenges of raising children. There are three little people in our home (sometimes, it seems as if there are a dozen of them running through my house, pausing only long enough to turn my sofa cushions into a fort, raid the snack basket, throw a crayon into the garbage disposal, or hang one of their sister’s dolls upside down from the fireplace so they can grin while she screams, “Millie! No!”–and then run when she comes to tell on them, which she will invariably do, with her face set in stern disapproval and her hands on her hips), with a wide range of interests and hobbies, and sometimes, I forget, as the mother who brought them into this world, that the oldest of the three is really not a little person anymore. He is a young man, a few months shy of his 15th birthday, and his interest now seems to be in the lovely fairer sex, and one adorable girl in particular, who seems to share my son’s feelings of taking that first step toward innocent young love together.

New love. There’s nothing like it. Unless it’s comfortable and familiar love that feels like new love every day.

Read this and much more by visiting  The LOVING MILK MAID'S NEW BLOG

Saturday, October 15, 2016

What is a Galactagogue?

From A Garden of Gold, copyright 2016 Jennifer Elisabeth Maiden:

A galactagogue, or lactogenic, is a herb or other substance, such as a prescription medication (or even a food or beverage) that is used to help increase breast milk supply, and even improve the let-down reflex, in nursing women, and the decision to add herbal supplements into your daily lactation routine is a very personal one. For some women, herbs are a feasible option when hoping to encourage a swifter increase in breast milk supply, and, after a bit of deliberation, others may decide that herbs are not really right for them. There is currently a lactation product on the market that claims to be a “miracle in a bottle”, which is misleading to women who long to lactate. While it would be wonderful to have access to such a product, there is simply no miraculous or magical means of making more breast milk, and herbal supplements hold very stark realities. While they can aid in the lactation process, they will not simply make milk for you. Herbs and other lactogenic food sources simply help the process along, and taking them will require you to continue the use of applicable lactation techniques, such as suckling, hand expression, pumping, and TENS stimulation, and some women find that these methods remain more effective than taking supplements.


Adult Nursing Relationship Q & A with the Loving Milk Maid: Can Lactation Be Achieved without Nursing and Are Birth Control Pills Safe for my Nursing Partner?

Our life right now doesn't provide time for us to set aside to nurse however we have decided I will use my electric pump twice a day in place of nursing along with herbal supplements. And once my milk comes in we will re-evaluate our time and try to nurse. Is it possible to bring in my milk that way?

I am very interested in starting an ANR with my husband. I'm on birth control, the pill, and concerned with my husband consuming my breast milk I don't want it to affect him. Do you have any advice or knowledge on that? Thank you!

Q & A with LMM can be found HERE

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Adult Nursing Q & A with Loving Milk Maid: Sleeping on the Breast and Love Marks

Just wondering if you've ever run into a problem with mr S falling asleep at the breast and therefore not helping as much as u need him to? Thanks....

I have noticed that I'm leaving hickeys on my wife's breasts during suckling. Is this normal, or am I not doing something quite right?

Q & A with LMM can now be found HERE

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Podcast Episode: The Scary Misconceptions of the Adult Nursing Relationship, Part I: Fetish

Building a Beautiful Adult Nursing Relationship, Part I: Commitment

When people hear the phrase "adult nursing", or breastfeeding, as the case may sometimes be, their minds immediately turns to thoughts of beautiful lactating breasts and the physical act of suckling, which, of course, are two undeniably wonderful aspects of the nursing experience, but the "R factor" in the phrase ADULT NURSING RELATIONSHIP holds a very meaningful place within the experience, and is often overlooked--or dismissed entirely.

The word relationship is defined as: the way in which two people are connected, or the state of being connected; an emotional association between two people.

We all know what a relationship is; we experience interpersonal associations every day, whether professional, casual, friendly, or romantic, and each of them requires some level of commitment to flourish.

The adult nursing relationship is no different.


Tuesday, October 11, 2016

My Life as a Nursing Wife: The Sixth Month

For the past six months, I have re-dedicated my life to that of a nursing wife, a joyful journey that I have been blessed to share with the man I love; he is my constant and faithful companion, my dearest friend, the father of my children, and just as the seasons have blossomed and transformed from spring to summer, and now into autumn, so has the depth of our love.

And to be given the blessing of rediscovered new love after spending 16 years with someone is a beautiful and beloved gift.

I love Mr. S' face, the high cheekbones, the set of his jaw, the distinct sloping line of his nose, and his beautiful blue eyes, the eyes that are not truly the color of a midnight sky or a piece of fine turquoise,  but a shade somewhere in between the two, kaleidoscope eyes whose changing color is as unique as he is.

And while I have always known that comforting and familiar face, I have now been shown a very different side of it, something that can only be described as his nursing face, that visage of sublime peace and relaxation, the contentedness that smoothly transforms the little lines that fan from the corners of his eyes and erases the tiny furrows between his eyebrows, the set of his jaw, the fan of his lips, the shadows that his eyelashes cast upon his cheeks. I quietly watch him in soft, golden lamplight, as he lies contentedly and unaware at my breast, lulled by my breathing, my heart beat, my milk, everything that makes me very aware of my presence as a woman, his wife. I have memorized that face. I am in love with it.

I have nursed this man often throughout the course of our marriage, but this time, during this part of my journey, the experience is a bit different because it is a path that we have created only for us.

In the past, I was a breastfeeding mother whose breasts belonged to her children; nature had blessed me with an abundant fountain of milk, and while Mr. S drank his fill, and enjoyed it very much, it was meant for our little ones' sustenance and nourishment. He did not come to the breast until the children had been tended to and fulfilled.

Now, the children are self-reliant, and my role has shifted from breastfeeding mother to that of a nursing wife. My breasts, and every drop of the milk that we have worked together to produce over the past six months, that now flows freely from them, belong only to him. Yes, this is a journey that we have carved out for us.

I have learned to balance lactation and life. I have learned an unspoken, and sometimes surreal, depth of love. I have reminded a strong, courageous, and self-reliant man that he is free to depend upon me without fear of losing his own independence.

Nursing has provided us the beautiful opportunity to focus on us, on a strong relationship that continues to strengthen, in the most intimate way that a man and a woman can connect. It has given two imperfect people the privilege of glimpsing perfection within the embrace of another's arms.

Autumn will fade, giving way to winter, but our love will remain unchanged, forever blooming, like the rarest rose amid the drifted snow.

Friday, September 16, 2016

How to Use a Manual Breast Pump to Maximize Efficiency and Effectiveness

There is a wide selection of breast pumps available on the market, and nursing women have very discerning tastes when it comes to their particular pump of choice, often going to great lengths to find one that is perfectly suited to their particular needs. I found myself facing that same dilemma early into my non-maternal lactation journey. If you've read some of my earlier posts, you'll know that, as a breastfeeding mother, I wasn't a huge breast pump fan, and I wasn't sure that I was going to pump within my ANR. I soon discovered, however, that pumping was actually going to be a necessity, so I began to look into pump options. I first chose a single manual pump before investing in a hospital-grade electric pump.

This post has now been moved to BOUNTIFUL FRUITS

Monday, September 12, 2016

Coping with Separation as an Adult Nursing Couple

It is always difficult to be away from the person you love, but separation, even a brief one, is even more challenging when you share a dedicated adult nursing relationship.

The impending separation can cause a lot of anxiety and emotional stress for both partners, and the process of inducing lactation presents an even greater concern to the nursing couple. What will happen to the milk you've already made? How will the separation affect your progress--and your relationship?

I experienced a similar issue four months ago when Mr. S was called out of town on business, just five weeks into our lactation journey, and the days leading up to his leaving were extremely difficult. There were moments when I wondered how I would ever get through an entire week without S by my side. And it wasn't just the idea of missed nursing sessions that caused so much worry; it was the idea of being away from him that I was concerned about. Nursing creates an intimate bond and an emotional connection that is difficult to break--even temporarily.

I also worried about my milk supply, which was progressing beautifully, and I dreaded losing the lactation levels that we had worked so diligently to achieve. We had been apart before, of course; Mr. S' long military career kept him away from home quite frequently, but I had been a breastfeeding mother during those times, and my exclusively nursed little ones were there to ensure that my breast milk remained plentiful in their father's absence. The separation that I experienced back in May was quite different. S and I had not been apart for an extended period of time in five years, and it was my very first one as an exclusively nursing wife.

The separation was inevitable, so I did what any woman would do when faced with a similar situation. I drew on my own resilience and strength, improvising to create a long-distance nursing plan that would work for both of us during S' time away from home.


Thursday, September 8, 2016

Adjusting Your Inducing Schedule to Fit Your Lifestyle

The following question from a reader recently crossed my inbox, and I wanted to share it with others who may be experiencing the same dilemma regarding the inducing process within their adult nursing relationship:

"After you started a schedule to induce did having the schedule ever kill some of the joy in doing it?  By nature I'm not a real schedule person, I do for work and when I need to. I think when milk begins to come in I'll probably be more excited about that and the schedule will be worth it but my excitement has plummeted for now. Thanks for any advice."

This is not an uncommon concern.

This article can now be found HERE

Monday, September 5, 2016

An Adult Nursing Relationship Interview with Cyndy: Her Comforting Breasts

Life is full of moments and experiences. For some people, adult nursing is both, private moments of quiet reflection and an emotional experience that connects two hearts, two bodies, and two souls. It is often a respite, a means of creating a close and unbreakable bond of intimacy between two loving people. Nursing can be an experience of joyful discovery, a gentle and light-hearted joining of spirits, and for some, it is a lifeline.

Often, there are subjects that we, as humans, and society as a whole, choose to brush aside because they are simply too uncomfortable to talk--or even think--about. I think it is often much easier to pretend that reality doesn't exist, but there are people out there who are not afforded the luxury of make- believe, people who struggle with hidden secrets, people forced to cope alone.

Every message that I receive is very special to me. I collect them like the rarest of treasures and have been placing them in a scrapbook so I will always have this precious moment in time and a record of my life as the Loving Milk Maid, so that someday, I will be able to look back on my life, remember it fondly, and re-live as I stroll down the winding paths of memory lane. These messages have made me smile, have touched my heart and brightened my day--and some have moved me so deeply that words can fail me.

Cyndy's message was one of those.

When this very special lady, a 41-year-old wife and mother of two, contacted me through Bountiful Fruits' interview form, I knew that I needed to share her story with others; although I typically conduct interviews in a traditional question and answer fashion, this format just didn't seem to fit the situation. After all, Cyndy expressed her thoughts so well, and in such an open and honest way, there truly didn't seem to be much more that I could possibly ask to add to her real-life experience, so instead, I decided to simply share her story with you just as I received it, written in her very own words, as a way to show others what love can do.

Nursing is not always solely about joy--sometimes, it is about healing, repairing what has been broken and bruised, and soothing what has been hurt.

When I emailed her to let her know how much I appreciated her candor, and to thank her for giving me the opportunity to read her story and to share it with others, she responded with this message:

I'm glad it may help another couple and encourage them to try it if they have a similar issue. 

 Cyndy--and her husband--are helping to do this with their poignant story as she helps to heal him with the comfort of her breasts.

"For you will nurse and be satisfied at her comforting breasts; you will drink deeply and delight in her overflowing abundance..."

Her Comforting Breasts
An Interview with Cyndy
 Three years ago, my husband broke down, admitting to me that he had been abused as an 11-year- old boy for two years by a man. This was eight years into our marriage. He had had problems with intimacy, and after he admitted the abuse, he said he didn't want to be touched in any way that the man had done to him. So nearly all normal sexual activity ceased....except with my breasts. The abuser did not have those! My husband began to get professional help for the abuse and was diagnosed with PTSD due to the years of being traumatized, some of which crossed into torture. We found that the one areas of my body we both enjoyed was nursing. It really gave him a calmness and helped relieve anxiety. We have been doing this on and off for two years, but recently decided to try to wet nurse to see if it adds even more intimacy for us.

ANR is really still the main [form of] intimacy for us. My husband is working on trying not to get anxiety about being fully intimate, but he still struggles. ANR has greatly decreased his PTSD, so I see it as part of his therapy for him. I don't see us stopping anywhere in the future. I might add, we're pretty conservative people, but we truly feel this is a blessing we can give each other.

Friday, September 2, 2016

Q & A: What Does Breast Milk Feel Like When it Comes Out?

This is an interesting question, and I can honestly say that no one has ever asked me that before--until recently. Since it's feel good Friday, I thought it would be fun to do a little Q & A with LMM post to start off the weekend. Here we go!

So, what does breast milk feel like when it comes out?

It doesn't really feel like anything. It sort of just happens.

During the suckling experience, there is a deep and pleasant pull on my breast, particularly during the initial latch when Mr. S' suckling pattern is firm and rapid, and I can normally tell when let-down has been triggered because I feel an overall sensation of complete relaxation, and something of an internal pressure release. It's sort of like my body is sighing, Ahhh, that feels wonderful, but when the milk is released and ejected from my breasts, I can't feel it come out. The release of breast milk is actually more of an emotional sensation rather than a physical one. I've been a natural milk maid for a very long time, so I use a lot of instinct stemming from my days as a breastfeeding mother to gauge the Mister's nursing success, and I typically do this by listening to his suck-and-swallow rhythm. :)

On the other hand, as the recipient of that lovely liquid gold, Mr. S can feel the release. According to him, during let-down, and several minutes after, once the flow has begun, my milk rolls onto his tongue in tiny "puddles". Further into the experience, after the flow has been established, my milk begins to spray, and when I asked him what that felt like, he replied in classic Mr. S fashion by saying:

"Imagine if you aimed the nozzle of a water pistol into your mouth and pulled the trigger, and let the spray hit the roof of your mouth and the back of your throat...that's what it feels like when your breast milk comes out."

Well...okay, then! :)

So, there you have it--LMM's and Mr. S' take on the breast milk release and ejection process.
Thank you for the question.

I hope September if off to a terrific start for everyone

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

The Age of Love, Part II: Nursing the Older Man

Lately, I have been receiving a lot of messages from readers who define themselves as "older", some who have enjoyed a dedicated ANR for many years, and others who have decided the time has finally come to take that first step into the beautiful world of nursing, and fulfill their private desires. I have a lot of admiration and respect for them; some have approached me with an air of trepidation, perhaps nervous that I'll think it's odd that someone in their 60s would desire a nursing relationship, or maybe they feel that there is too much of a generation gap between us, and I won't understand. Although our lives may be very different, we have more in common than most people would believe--we share the love of adult nursing, and it is a lifestyle that can only be understood by people who recognize and appreciate the exquisite beauty of suckling, and all that the experience has to offer two compatible adults, regardless of age. Believe me, I do understand. Sometimes, it seems that I have always understood.

We often define age unfairly, clouding the truth with broad generalizations like all and every, and there are far too many pre-conceived notions about the preferences and behavior of people based on their age. I was very young when I opened my own nursing relationship; would things have gone differently if I had been told that I was too young to know what I desired, or too young to make such an important commitment? And what would have happened if I had actually begun to own that? I would have missed my opportunity to share one of the most beautiful experiences I have ever known as a woman. It seems that older people often face the same challenges, are expected to be void of feelings and no longer attuned to their own sexuality and sensual needs.

While writing my latest book, which focuses on meeting others in the adult nursing community and forming a healthy relationship, I did a lot of research, and uncovered some fascinating data. Studies show that, when asked, 91% of single people over the age of 70 rated sex as "very important" to their relationships as compared to 40% of their younger counterparts. (Take that, society! ;))

I am married to an older man, and there have been times when S and I have faced obstacles in our relationship because of the difference in our age. They aren't our obstacles. I am very comfortable and very content with him. He is strong and determined, a passionate realist, and very much a gentleman. He treats me like a lady, opens my car door for me and brings me flowers just because he loves me. We complement one another perfectly. He is my safe haven.

And because I am married to an older man, and we happen to enjoy the uniquely exquisite practice of suckling, I also nurse an older man; it is an act that comes very naturally to me, and at night, when we are lying together, under the tranquil cover of night, I become his safe haven, my breasts are his comforting respite, a place to rest his head, a place that allows him to shed the tough exterior that society expects him to wear and be cared for in a way that only I can do.

Recently, I received a couple of  wonderful messages from a 67-year-old gentleman who once shared an intimate ANR with a lactating woman, and is actively seeking a nursing relationship once more, and because he wrote so openly about a misunderstood subject that is considered taboo by so many, I decided to share parts of his letters with you, and answer a few questions about age and nursing.

I would like to be able to develop that type of relationship again and before I stumbled across your site, I thought that maybe I was just a bit off center, and now I find there are others that see the value and pleasure in such a natural closeness and sharing. I desire that again, but at my age and in society's narrow views on some subjects, I really don't know how to go about finding a woman that is willing and enjoys it as much as I do.

How do I approach a woman respectfully with the subject? How do I find the special person that wants to share that part of them. I must be clear, I don’t want a wet nurse, but someone who wants a loving and kind relationship and feels as I do. Most of the lactating women that I know are so much younger than I am that I am afraid to even mention my desires. 

In so many ways, the ANR is very much like a more traditional relationship, one based on chemistry, compatibility, honesty, and mutual respect, and finding that perfect partner can be difficult, whether you hope to nurse or not. And I agree. Society doesn't always help the situation; it is so quick to label and set specific classification molds  that people are expected to simply fit comfortably in to. And let's be honest--adult nursers just haven't found acceptance, or been able to break free of those confining stereotypes and presumed judgments, regardless of age.

We really are out there. It just takes a bit of time to find us.

Many healthy long-term nursing relationships arise from a strong foundation relationship in which two people open lines of communication about the lifestyle, and find a comfortable middle ground that is mutually satisfying. But if you are looking for a partner who already understands and appreciates the world of ANR, shares your ideals and basic principles regarding the lifestyle, and is prepared to nurse, your best option is to visit various online communities and dating sites geared toward adult nursing where you will be free to discuss your desires in an open, honest, and direct way, with like-minded people. It is often very comforting to surround yourself with people who "get it", and will value your opinion on the adult nursing experience. Many of them are actively seeking a nursing partner, too.

When meeting a potential nursing partner, the initial encounter isn't really so much a matter of age, but, rather a question of compatibility. For years, scientists have been trying to discover the reasons for physical attraction. Is it a biological stamp imprinted on the human psyche? Do pheromones play a role in chemistry? There are no solid answers to these timeless questions; for now, attraction remains one of life's sweetest mysteries. We are simply attracted to the people we find most appealing; some people prefer an older partner, others do not. Opening any new relationship can be scary, and it takes a lot of courage to present yourself into a circumstance that exposes so much vulnerability, but you never know what might happen if you never try.

Of course, physical attraction, affection, and love are not the only boundless aspects of adult nursing. It is important to remember that lactation holds no age limitations, either. We often associate breast milk production with youth when, in reality, no matter her stage of life, very little can hinder a woman's natural ability to lactate. There are many women who enjoy the loveliness of lactation well into their 50s and 60s, choosing to induce years after the onset of menopause, and are in search of their perfect partner, too.

Remember, all love, even the adulation of nursing, is timeless, it spans generations and transcends all limitations and boundaries--and it is out there, waiting for you.

Thank you to everyone who has shared their inspiring stories with me. :) As you travel the paths of your personal journey, I wish you all the best.

Take care, and have a wonderful Wednesday!

Saturday, August 27, 2016

A Message from LMM: The Fifth Month

When I looked at the calendar this morning, I realized that today marks Bountiful Fruits' five-month anniversary. It's something of a special occasion for me, a day that has certainly made me smile--and wonder how it is possible that five months have already passed since I began writing about my journey into the beautiful world of ANR.

What a fabulous five months they have been!

I want to take a moment to thank everyone for their continued support and encouragement. To those who have supported my writing endeavors by purchasing my books and to readers who have been with me since the beginning and those who have just recently begun following my journey on Bountiful Fruits, you are amazing and deeply appreciated. And, of course, to the fabulous gentlemen who have answered my "Want Ad" and shared their stories for a future post, a huge thank you! In one way or another, you all help to make this site a success, and I look forward to the future.

In my off-time, I have been working on a new project that is set to launch very soon, and I hope to be able to share it with you early in September. Mr. S and I are fine-tuning things at the moment, but I'm very excited about it. :) I hope you'll join us  there.
I'll be back on Monday with my nursing diary updates, and the week will begin with some brand-new posts, including "Nursing the Older Man", so be sure to stop by!

Until then, I'll leave you with a link to the post that started it all...


Have a beautiful Saturday!

Warm wishes to you,

Friday, August 26, 2016

The Age of Love, Part I: Adult Nursing Spans Generations

Having the opportunity to meet people from all walks of life has been a true blessing since I first began blogging about my personal journey into the world of ANR. I have now had the privilege of speaking with people around the globe, from Canada, England, Ireland, Scotland, and Germany; adult nursers from France and Sweden, and others from Australia and Japan, Egypt and Greece, and it has been an amazing experience. I honestly feel like a seasoned world traveler, thanks to my lovely readers, and while it has been incredible to find out so much about the worldwide culture of adult nursing and how it is perceived outside of the country that I know, I have also learned that the beautiful practice of suckling doesn't merely span the world; it is revered among generations of people, some who have loved--and lived--this lifestyle for many years, and continue to have a true affinity for it even as time swiftly passes by, and others who have begun their own personal journeys later in their lives.

And I absolutely love that!

This post can be found by visiting THE LOVING MILK MAID'S NEW BLOG.

Thursday, August 25, 2016

The Secret Joy of Adult Nursing

"My husband and I recently began an ANR, and we are so happy that we want to shout it from the rooftops, but, as you know, we can't, so we refrain. I'm writing to you because I know you'll understand."

And I do.

It's difficult to hold a secret like ANR because the lifestyle is so beautiful, so magical, and has helped to deepen the love that Mr. S and I have for one another as it strengthens our marriage. I would love to tell everyone about this, but, like so many others, I just can't. The world just isn't ready to accept adult nursing yet. And, even though I realize this, hiding it seems so wrong. Hiding implies shame, and I'm certainly not ashamed of any aspect of my life, including the part that allows me to bring the man I love to my lactating breasts, so instead of speaking, I write.

This article has been moved to the Bountiful Fruits site.

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Lactation Side Effects: Hunger and Thirst

Every woman who has lactated, either maternally or through the process of inducing,, is familiar with the common side effects: a heavy fullness or pain in the body of the breasts, tenderness in the underarms , emotional ups and downs, and the urge to nest, but many women do not realize that there are two other common, but less discussed, side effects of the milk producing process: hunger and thirst.

This post can be found on the LOVING MILK MAID'S NEW BLOG

Monday, August 22, 2016

The Crystal Anniversary Get-Away: Part II

On August 11, Mr. S and I celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary, and after we returned from a completely unexpected--and beautiful-- mini get-away, I blogged about our romantic adventure, beginning this two-part post last Monday with PART I.  Here is the conclusion. :)

Before we headed out for the evening, Mr. S insisted that I open my gifts. The card he chose was so pretty.

And one of my gifts was a beautiful gold and diamond floating heart necklace.

Mr. S had made reservations for us at a fabulous fondue restaurant where we were shown to a private and intimate table for two. Imagine my surprise when I found the table top scattered with rose petals and saw the long-stemmed red rose lying at my place.

I felt so loved--and very much like a lady.

Dinner was fabulous; we shared cheese and chocolate fondue, complete with platters of artisan accompaniments and bowls of fresh fruits (and a virgin Love Martini for me).

And while the ambience was beautiful, the most perfect part of dinner was the quiet conversation we shared. We talked about everything, including our courtship and wedding day, and spent those long, leisurely moments strolling down the curving paths of memory lane. To be told that my husband still feels honored that I am his wife after so many years have passed was magical. We agreed to meet at the same place and at the same time fifteen years from that moment, and I immediately found myself anticipating that far-off moment.

Dark had fallen when we stepped out of the restaurant, and the plaza was beautifully lit with twinkling golden lights, so we took our time walking back to our car, and listened to our favorite songs as we drove back to the Welsh Hills.

Once we were settled into our beautiful suite, Mr. S lit some candles and turned on the soft, soulful strains of Billy Paul and Otis Redding. (Oh, he knows me too well, and knows what happens every time I hear "Me and Mrs. Jones" and "These Arms of Mine"! ;))

I took a relaxing bubble bath in the amazing Italian soak tub...

And Mr. S washed my back.

We spent the final moments of our Crystal Anniversary here:

Our life together is very much like a collection of eclectic short stories, part romantic fairytale and part gripping history. It is filled with passionate love stories and action-packed tales of adventure, and it is the greatest book that I have ever written. Each year I share with the man I love begins a new chapter in our book of life, and it seems that I can never wait to turn the page to find out what happens next.

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Birth Control and Lactation: IUD

"I am on birth control (IUD). Can I induce lactation or does it have to be removed?"

When I received this fantastic question from a reader, I knew that it would make a terrific blog post, and to be sure that I was providing accurate information to others, I researched the topic, and then turned to a very valuable resource for further advice: my lovely friend Holly, (who I've mentioned in other posts) a Labor and Delivery RN with a team of lactation consultants by her side, who is always there to lend a helping hand when I need professional assistance. I love Holly for more than just the fact that she is an immense help; she knows about my blog (as well as my personal lifestyle choice), and treats it as a very normal "thing". The world definitely needs more Hollies in it! :)

The concern about birth control and lactation presents itself to many women, and it can bring a lot of anxiety with it, particularly when hoping to induce and build a great supply of breast milk. Combination contraceptives, which include a variety of birth control pills, the OrthoEvra skin patch, and the vaginal Nuvaring, contain both progesterone and estrogen, which is linked to low milk supply and a shorter duration of breastfeeding, even if started after lactation has been established, but what about the IUD?

An IUD is an Intrauterine Device implanted in the uterus to prevent pregnancy. Currently, there are four FDA-approved IUDs available for use in the United States: ParaGard, Liletta, Mirena, and Skyla.

These IUDs are commonly categorized as copper (ParaGard) and hormonal (Minera, Liletta, and Skyla).

Hormonal IUDs use progestin to control pregnancy, and this is very similar to the progesterone that our bodies naturally make. Unlike other forms of combination birth control methods, these contain no estrogen; the progestin remains in the uterus rather than cycling through the body as estrogen does, so this is an excellent birth control option for many breastfeeding women.

If you are using an IUD as birth control, this should not negatively affect your ability to induce lactation, build or maintain a healthy supply of breast milk, or hinder your nursing relationship in any way. You can continue to practice responsible family planning and make lots of lovely breast milk while doing so. Now, isn't that wonderful news? :)

Thank you again, Miss D., for taking the time to write. I hope this is a help to you--and others!

Take care, and have a terrific Thursday!

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

The 20-Minute Suckling Rule for the Adult Nursing Couple

I recently received an very nice e-mail from a reader who asked a very good question about the "20-Minute Suckling Rule", and I thought it would make a terrific post. I know I've mentioned before how much I enjoy receiving questions and feedback from others, and I do. Often, these inquiries and comments lead to informative articles that may help to clear up nursing confusion and allow me to research a topic further to better guide others along the way. So, thank you to Ms. D for taking the tine to get in touch! :)

"Can my husband suckle for 20/25 minutes in intervals, or does he need to suckle non-stop per breast?"

When hoping to induce lactation--or build and/or maintain a growing supply of milk--it is important for the nursing partner to be on each breast for a minimum of 20 minutes, but he doesn't have to do this all at once.

Suckling can be physically taxing, especially for the new-to-nursing partner, and can lead to jaw fatigue, which is sometimes described as a tired, weak, or overworked, achy sensation in the face, and nursing for a solid 1/3 to 1/2 of an hour is very challenging--and unpleasant. The experience should never be uncomfortable or painful for either partner.

To make suckling easier, your partner can nurse in intervals or "sets".

After latching to the first side, it's a very good idea to suckle for five minutes without stopping (if possible) to properly trigger the let-down reflex. Even if you aren't yet producing, this is still a very important part of the process, as it tells your body to "release that milk". (Remember, you can't make milk if your body doesn't release it.)

After the initial five minutes, he can rest if he feels he needs to. During the rest, he can either remain on the breast, or come off of it and apply gentle massage and compressions. A lot of men find that it's helpful to rest for about five minutes before they resume suckling. It doesn't have to be five minutes, of course, but these 300-second increments can make it a little easier to keep track of suckling time.

He can also switch sides during the 20-minute period of time. After suckling from the first breast for five minutes, he can then latch to the second breast to trigger let-down, and repeat the back-and-forth process for the length of the nursing session. This switch is helpful for two reasons:

1. It allows him time to rest and regroup
2. It often encourages milk production and flow by giving each breast time to replenish and "refuel"

Rests do not count as suckling time. Regardless of how many breaks he required to ensure his comfort, your partner will need to actively suckle for at least 20 minutes per breast.

Rests aren't necessary, and they don't have to be taken every five minutes. If a partner has found a comfortable suckling rhythm and doesn't feel the need to rest, then, by all means, stay on that breast. ;) He should rest when he feels the time is right; just be sure to keep general track of his rest time to be sure that he has suckled for a total of 20 minutes.

Rhythm and routine are important, so try to keep these sets in sync, matching them as closely as you possibly can to each breast.

An example of this would be:

Trigger let-down, rest for five, suckle for five, continue.

You should repeat this on the opposite breast. No matter how you nurse, the length of the session, or how many rests are needed, just be sure to suckle for the same amount of time on each breast.

Always remember, there really isn't a perfect A-B-C, 1-2-3 method to nursing; don't be overly concerned with clock-watching and time-keeping--that takes a lot of the fun out of nursing. Use your own instinct . Relax and enjoy your time together as a couple. Very soon, this will be second nature to both of you. :)

I hope this helps! Happy Wednesday to you!

Monday, August 15, 2016

The Crystal Anniversary Get-Away: Part I

I had been anticipating our 15th wedding anniversary for quite some time, but because of several recent life events, I assumed that a romantic August 11 get-away was out of the question, and made plans to spend a quiet and content evening at home.

But Mr. S had other plans.

He had arranged a fabulous anniversary surprise for me, making reservations for two at a beautiful Bed and Breakfast in the secluded Welsh Hills.

We began the morning of our crystal wedding anniversary at 6 a.m. with a glorious nursing session, and then he and I enjoyed our morning coffee before sharing breakfast with the children, who had taken the time to make us beautiful anniversary cards, and then prepared to head out just before 9:00. Once the children were settled in with my parents, Mr. S and I were free to head off on our adventure for two in the rolling Welsh Hills.

We stopped off in a beautifully quaint  historic town filled with interesting and eclectic little shops, art galleries, and cafes. The cobblestone streets were lined with blooming magenta and pink impatiens and lacy ferns and little umbrella-clad bistro tables. After strolling hand-in-hand along the winding walkways and browsing in antique jewelry shops and vintage bookstores and confectionaries, we decided to have lunch at Moe's, a bluesy restaurant on Main Street.

I loved the atmosphere. Fabulous pencil art sketches of iconic musicians lined the walls, and we enjoyed eating to soft blues music, talking over the soulful strains of Otis Redding (my favorite) and Ray Charles.

Mr. S loves the Blues Brothers, so we had to take a photo of Jake and Elwood!
Mr. S loved his "deep south" meal, prepared Alabama-style:

 Note the collard greens and red beans and rice? It's hard to believe that he was born and raised in Detroit. :) But his parents had deep southern roots that somehow managed to imprint themselves on my love. ;)

After lunch we headed out once more, this time to Whitt's coffee shop where we ordered two cups of amazing coffee and hand-made vanilla custard, which we shared under the shade of a ruffled umbrella.

I felt so relaxed, so attuned to my husband, and knew that so much awaited us.

After a while, we headed back to the car, and drove toward our destination, taking the time to admire the pretty scenery and beautiful Colonial and Victorian homes along the way. After several long moments, we reached a long, curving tree-lined, sun-dappled lane, and followed it to the inn.

The inn was breathtaking, surrounded by fifteen acres of wooded beauty and lush English gardens, and owned by the most wonderful and hospitable couple who gave us a guided tour of the grounds before showing us to our luxury king suite.

Named Berllan Glyn, Welsh for orchard glen, the guest suite was filled with fabulous antiques, art work, and a gorgeous sitting area. The luxurious two-room bath housed an impressive glass and marble steam shower and was tastefully  decorated with imported pieces of art. It also included a private screened-in terrace with a spectacular view of the gardens and private access to an amazing swimming pool.

Two o'clock had come, so we spent the next hour nursing, and afterwards, we strolled the grounds and enjoyed a long, leisurely swim in the pool, which was absolutely wonderful. Around 6:00, we shared a private--and very romantic--soak in the courtyard hot tub.

I could have been very content to spend the rest of the evening walking hand-in-hand among the gardens or enjoying the bocce ball court and the swaying two-person hammocks stretched between a pair of beautiful old pine trees, but, once again, Mr. S had other plans, so I put my hand in his, allowing him to lead me back to our suite so we could get ready for a night out.

Saturday, August 13, 2016

An Adult Nursing Relationship Love Story: The 15th Year

Once upon a time, quite by chance, a girl met a boy. They fell in love at first sight, and from that very moment, they vowed never to part.

Their love continued to bloom, and before she knew it, the girl was planning her wedding. On a warm August evening, just as three generations of women in her family had done before, she  pledged her unending love to the man standing by her side, and she became his wife.

She soon learned the imperfect perfection known as marriage, and fell more deeply in love with him  as each day passed. Soon, there were bills to pay, meals to cook, laundry to wash, separations to face--and the beautiful sounds of a baby's laughter and the gentle pitter patter of tiny feet.

Time passed quickly, and over the years she sometimes found herself faced with the sacred words of her marriage vows, standing by him for richer or poorer, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, and each time life presented itself to them in a way that was not always kind, she pulled herself more tightly to his side, adjusting her sails according to the wind's direction, weathering the storm...and fell more deeply in love.

She changed over the years, from a girl into a woman--and a mother. Her body blossomed, and with each new transformation, she saw new admiration in his eyes; he continued to tell her that she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen--and that he was the luckiest man in the world to have her, referring to her as "his girl", even after so many years had gone by. He told her that every change was a symbol of her love for him, creating a timeline of the history they had shared, and that every mark upon her skin was seen as a badge of honor and courage. And she knew the meaning of unabiding love in its purest form.

Suddenly, one day, as if in the blink of an eye, the calendar changed. It was August again. And the 15th year of their marriage had arrived.

Unbeknownst to her, this man had a very special surprise waiting for his "girl", and they slipped off on a romantic get-away for two, just as they had done so many years before.

They shared a wonderful day together, and that evening, he took her out for an intimate dinner, and when they were shown to their table, she found this waiting for her:
As she lifted the fragrant flower to her nose to inhale the heady perfume of its velvet petals, she realized that their love was very much like that rose. From a delicate bud it had flourished, unfurling with every passing moment, until bursting into full bloom to display the beauty it had always held inside.

And when she opened her eyes to find him watching her with a smile playing across his face, she smiled back and reached for his hand, which was waiting for her touch, and neither of them said a word. They didn't need to. Love was had always been there. It was in their eyes. Just as it had been when they'd first met so long ago.

"What do you say?" he asked, lifting her hand to his mouth. "Same time, same place, 15 years from now?"

"Yes," she replied. "15 years from now. And I can't wait."

Why a Schedule is so Important when Inducing Lactation

Happy Saturday, everyone!

I have just returned from a relaxing (and unexpected) mini get-away that Mr. S planned for our 15th wedding anniversary, and we both agreed to set work--and technology-- aside and focus on one another for a couple of days. It was so wonderful to have those beautiful fleeting moments together, but now that I've returned to the real world, it is very nice to be writing again. I am back to my routine. And speaking of routines...

When it comes to the best way of ensuring successful lactation, you have probably read this tip many times before on various sites: choose an inducing routine, select a time to induce, and commit to it. It's valuable advice, but why is it so important?

The human body is made for routines and schedules, and performs at its best when we stay on a biological timeline--and this could not be more true than when it comes to producing breast milk. Whether a woman is making non-maternal or maternal milk, her body needs to be instructed that the time has come to make that milk; otherwise, it won't, and this is why it is much more beneficial to induce just once a day on time rather than several erratic times throughout the day.

An erratic inducing schedule will create confusion by sending mixed signals to your brain and breasts--and neither will know exactly what to do. This uncertainty will cause your body to do nothing at all--simply because it doesn't realize that the time has come to make milk.

When a mother is breastfeeding a little one, her body soon learns its new routine: each time baby is put to the breast, her body recognizes this as "milk making o'clock", and responds accordingly. In essence, during the inducing process, you are training your body to do the same thing--even without the help of a hungry little milk vampire to coax the process along. 😉 Your body isn't fussy. It will make milk for anyone--as long as it knows to do so. But before you can begin to produce milk, you will first need to establish a lactation connection.

For instance, when I chose to re-introduce lactation into the ANR I share with Mr. S, I had to carefully consider our lifestyle, and this led me to choose a once-a-day inducing routine. He and I committed to nurse every night at11:00, and my body soon adapted to this rhythm, and responded beautifully. Once we had established lactation, I chose to incorporate an additional session into our routine. My body already knew to make milk every night at11:00, but it began to learn that it needed to make more milk at 6 a.m.--and then later, again at 2 p.m. as well. I was very comfortable with these additional nursing sessions because I knew that  even if my body did not respond to them, it would continue to make milk at 11:00. This really helped to ensure that I could focus on the beautifully soothing nursing experience rather than the arduous goal of lactation.

Routine is especially important in the beginning, when you hope to establish that lactation connection, and have begun the process of training your body's response reflex. If you miss a regularly scheduled inducing session, no matter which producing technique you have chosen to use, your body will see this as a sign that you are weaning a child from the breast; when this happens, it no longer believes there is a need to make milk, and will automatically shut down production. You will lose the established connection, and will have to begin the inducing process all over again. This is discouraging--and really frustrating--and can take many additional inducing sessions just to help your body find its routine once more, so do your best not to skip even onededicated  inducing session in the first month--or until you are sure that you have established lactation. Remember, in the very beginning, you will need to nurse nine out of every 10 days to ensure successful production.

I hope you find this helpful. Wishing you a happy weekend!

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

To Lactate or not to Lactate? That is the Adult Nursing Relationship Question


One simple word holds so much meaning.

It certainly seems to be an important factor in many couple's personal ANRs, particularly when the decision to embark into the sweetly mysterious unknown has finally been mutually agreed upon, and the dream of producing breast milk looms on the vibrant horizon. While lactation is a beautiful part of the devoted adult nursing relationship, it is not required to enjoy a fulfilling and rewarding connection with your partner. Although dry nursing is a sensual--and often completely encompassing--experience, very few questions arise in regard to this aspect of the adult nursing relationship. Most of them pertain to wet nursing, and more specifically, the steps that lead to lactation. I am often asked to define the difference between partial lactation and full lactation. Just like every other aspect of ANR, lactation is a very personal choice, and whether you decide to produce some milk, lots of milk, or no milk at all is dependent upon your desires.

So, to lactate or not to lactate? That is the question.

I found myself facing that very age-old adult nursing relationship question nearly five months ago when Mr. S and I committed to the re-opening of our dedicated ANR. Although much of our suckling relationship had always involved lactation, due to my exclusively breastfeeding three children for many years, he and I had experienced the sublime joy of dry nursing, too, and simply bringing him to the breast was enough to sustain our desire within our ANR. But I soon found myself thinking about lactation, all of that lovely liquid gold, and I realized how much I had missed the experience of gloriously full breasts, and allowing my husband to draw my milk from them. There was a fleeting moment of regret when I recalled how much lovely milk I had allowed to go to waste when our little one came off of the breast five years before, and the opportunity of maintenance that I hadn't thought of then. But that part of my life was over. A new chapter had begun. And I began to focus my attention on an experience that was very new--and exciting-- to me: non-maternal lactation.

I brought up the subject of lactation to S one evening, very early into our re-discovered nursing relationship, explaining what I had learned about re-lactation, and it was wonderful to openly discuss such an intimate part of our relationship; that very first conversation helped to forge this new level of our pre-existing relationship, and I saw my husband in a new light that evening. He was intrigued by the idea of lactation, particularly the sort that we would produce together, as a devoted couple, but more important than his support and encouragement was his understanding. He knew how important lactation had become to me, and even as he worked alongside of me to help me achieve my goal of a full milk supply, he continued to remind me that he loved our time together, and truly desired an ANR, even if I were unable to produce a single drop of milk. His affirmation of love helped to keep me grounded--and allowed me to focus on our relationship.

Was there personal pressure to achieve what I thought of as success? Yes. And even though I knew that S would be there to provide the support I needed, and that nothing could hinder our beautiful nursing relationship, there was still that tiny worry niggling at the back of my mind. Would I really be able to make milk? What if I failed? Would I disappoint him--or myself?

Some of these fears faded as soon as I truly understood that my husband had taken an utterly realistic approach to re-lactation. I then did the same.

And, if there is one thing that every woman needs to know it is that lactation comes with realities.

  1. Depending on the approach you take, inducing lactation can be time-consuming.
There are a lot of opinions on the best way to induce lactation, and some of them are discouraging. The first information I found instructed me to induce around the clock; to ensure success, I would need to pump, stimulate, or nurse Mr. S every two hours, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, until I began to see results. Because I have a very busy life outside of nursing, I knew that wasn't a practical option for me. Unfortunately, women can often find themselves caught up in the pursuit of making large quantities of breast milk--and quickly. Encouraging an adequate supply of breast milk can take a lot of time, and requires careful regulation and scheduling. Placing yourself on an around-the-clock schedule can lead to "nursing burn-out" because it takes so much joy out of the experience. Suddenly, the idea of making milk loses its fascination, and the process becomes just another chore. How do you balance every day life in two-hour increments? It just isn't feasible. A better option is to decide which method of inducing is best for you, and what time(s) are convenient for your lifestyle--and stick to them. Enjoy the nursing experience, and induce on schedule.

2. Herbs are not magic.
There are many breast milk boosting herbal supplements available to women who desire lactation, and there are a lot of success stories floating around about them. While herbs can be beneficial in aiding (and increasing) milk production, they do not take the place of more traditional, tried-and-true inducing techniques. They must be used alongside suckling, pumping, manual expression, and/or TENS Unit stimulation. Because of allergic reaction warnings and possible side effects, herbal supplements are not right for every woman, and they must be used properly to ensure their effectiveness. For instance, while Fenugreek remains the mot popular choice for its breast-boosting properties, it must be used regularly, or it can actually adversely affect milk production, and Red Raspberry Leaf, although an excellent choice for helping to increase supply, will cause a decrease in milk if used for longer than two weeks at a time.

3. Cooperation is Key.
Although you can definitely induce lactation on your own, women who have dedicated suckling partners understand that cooperation is important to successful lactation. Other methods of inducing lactation will work, of course, but suckling will always be the best choice, as it provides the deep and proper stimulation required to encourage milk production and flow. If you have chosen suckling as your only inducing method, your partner will need to be available to nurse during all scheduled sessions. If he isn't able to nurse, you'll want to have an alternative inducing method available to employ in his absence. Inducing lactation is a commitment, which is why selecting a convenient schedule is so important to the milk-making mission.

4. Emotions play a large role iin successful lactation.
Because the early stages of lactation focus largely on proper hormone placement, a woman's mental state will hold a very big part in how successful lactation is. The fear of failure, the pressure to produce, and worrying that you aren't making milk fast enough can cause your body to grow very stubborn. It may automatically shut down its natural production, impeding the process--or stopping it entirely. It's difficult to stay focused and relaxed, especially if breast milk is deeply desired, but it is important to try. Stress and anxiety are two leading causes of poor let-down--and your body must release your milk before it can be drawn from the breasts.  Encourage your body to produce, but don't attempt to force it to perform beyond its abilities. Lactation is a very natural process that presents itself to every woman in its own way...and in its own time. Relax. Enjoy your partner, and spend some time focusing on the relationship you are building as a couple.

5. Maintaining a supply of breast milk takes work.
Once you have begun to produce, you will be able to better judge just how much milk is right for you and your particular lifestyle. After that has been decided, the time will come to maintain that milk supply. Maintenance is part of lactation, and is necessary to ensure that your desired level of milk remains stable; you will need to continue suckling, hand expressing, or pumping to remind your body that more milk is needed. It can be challenging at times, but as long as you stay true to your set schedule, managing your supply should easily become a very natural part of your daily routine.

6.  You will leak.
Because there is very little difference in maternal and non-maternal milk flow, as your body isn't particular about who it is producing for, lactation presents the same concerns for the nursing woman as it does for the breastfeeding mother, and if you aren't careful about milk removal, you will leak, wetting your bra and blouse. Let-down happens, sometimes at the most inconvenient times, so be sure to empty your breasts completely to ensure that this very private part of your life remains that way.

7. Nursing maladies present themselves to adult nursers, too.
Yes, they do. Engorgement, plugged milk ducts, mastitis, and thrush can be a very real part of the adult nursing relationship.

8. Re-lactation is easier than starting from the ground up.
Sometimes...but not always. In essence, when a woman re-lactates, she is simply reminding her body of what it has done in the past, regardless of  how long it has been since it's made milk. While there is no proof positive that women who have previously been pregnant, experienced childbirth, or breastfed have greater success with non-maternal milk production than those who are inducing without the benefit of these natural aids, the process often occurs at a faster rate.

9. Life happens.
It does. A lot. A little hand may knock at a closed door. An unexpected appointment may arise. You may just not want to induce on a certain day. And that's okay. Stay realistic--and flexible. Remember, life happens.

10. Lactation is a glorious part of the adult nursing relationship.
It truly is, and none of these realities should be a deterrent to you if you and your partner have your hearts set on lactation.  If you're up to the challenge, producing milk as a couple can be a wonderfully intimate part of the nursing relationship.

But it simply isn't for everyone.

And this is when dry nursing becomes a beautiful option for many loving couples.

Suckling without lactation is an exquisite part of ANR. It is soothing, comforting, and completely carefree. There are no rigid schedules to adhere to--and certainly no pressure to produce.  Dry nursing provides the same bond, the same intimacy, and as much personal fulfillment and mutual pleasure as wet nursing offers. When opening an ANR with your partner, even as you begin to devise an eventual lactation plan, I highly recommend that you dry nurse. Be open to the experience. Watch your partner suckle. Incorporate sensual touch into every session. Focus on the emotions that arise from the experience.  You may find that lactation is not as important to your personal journey as you had believed it would be. One of the most beautiful things about the adult nursing relationship is that it allows for so much self-exploration and discovery. It provides two devoted people the opportunity to share their most secret desires with one another while offering a wonderful array of options to them.  Don't rush the experience along. You have all the time in the world to decide the path your personal journey will take. Follow your heart, and let it guide you along the way!

You can read about one couple's dry nursing experience by CLICKING HERE.

Monday, August 8, 2016

Quiet Time: An Adult Nursing Relationship Interview

I first had the pleasure of meeting Mr. R, 52, who works in real estate, and his 49-year-old wife of 24 years, Mrs. R, who juggles her role as a mother to their 12-year-old son with her career in the medical field, when I received a message through Bountiful Fruits' official Facebook page, and have now had the pleasure of exchanging e-mails with them on several occasions. When I first met this amazing husband and wife, I was instantly touched by their moving description of the "loving quiet time" they share as a long-time married couple. This devoted pair truly reaffirm the bond that two people can create within a dedicated ANR--even when lactation is not a factor within it. Please enjoy their story!
Quiet Time
An Interview with Mr. and Mrs. R
LMM: Before we begin, I want to thank you again for graciously agreeing to share your personal story with others. How did you first discover ANR, and what interested you most about the lifestyle?
Mrs. R: Along with our son, who was a bit of a pleasant  surprise to us, we are the parents of two daughters, ages 22 and 21, who are now living on their own. I did not nurse either girl, but when our son came along, I told Mr. R that I would like to attempt breastfeeding, which he was very supportive of, and it was during a sexual encounter when our youngest was about two months old that we shared our first experience.
Mr. R: But we didn't know that it was called ANR. We didn't know that it was a lifestyle choice.
LMM: So, like a lot of couples do, you sort of stumbled onto it, and it became something of a "happy accident"?
Mr. R: Exactly! Neither one of us would have given adult nursing any thought if we hadn't discovered it on our own. I enjoyed the first experience, and wanted to try it again, but I wasn't sure how to tell Mrs. R how I felt. Because she seemed to enjoy our quiet time together, I took the liberty of nursing again a few nights later, to see how she would react to the experience.
Mrs. R: It took me by surprise, but it was the best feeling! The experience was so gentle and loving; I'd never felt so close to him as I did when he was nursing, and I knew that this was something I wanted to continue, but I still wasn't sure how to tell him, so he just continued to nurse, and it became a normal part of our quiet time together.
LMM: Did you ever decide to openly discuss what you were sharing?
Mrs. R: After a while, we did. I remember thinking, Oh, this is silly! I need to tell him how I feel! [laughs] I was very surprised that it was so difficult for me to bring this up to him, but I realized how important it was, so when we had a private moment together, I told him how much I loved what we were sharing, and that I wanted it to continue.
Mr. R: And that was such a relief because I'd been trying to decide how to open the conversation with her, too. No matter how long you've been married, I think something like this is always going to be a little tricky to talk about. The fear of rejection is there, and you aren't sure how your spouse is going to react to the idea. But I agree--it's important to talk about it.
LMM: How did you respond when Mrs. R told you how she felt?
Mr. R: I told her how much I loved our time together, too, and that it was a part of our life that I could see sharing for a very long time. Men can have a hard time talking about their feelings, but my wife appreciated my honesty, and it brought us closer together. I learned that it was "okay" to do so, to open up, and really talk.
LMM: I think vulnerability is difficult because men are expected to fit into a certain mold based on society's standards. That is such a valid point--that it is just as important for men to have the chance to openly communicate as it is for women. And, it's also important to show others that communication can be something as simple as saying, I love this.
Mrs. R: I agree! Just telling one another how we felt, in just a few words, led to a longer conversation, and it was amazing.
Mr. R: Our relationship has actually helped to keep those lines of communication open. I think we do talk more now. If you can talk about adult nursing with your spouse, you can talk about anything. [laughs]
LMM: Yes! This is about as intimate as it gets, isn't it? Did you begin to define your experience as an ANR?
Mrs. R: Not really, but this was because neither he nor I were fully aware that adult nursing was a very real part of other people's marriages, too. It felt so right for us, so natural, but we didn't know that it had a name.
Mr. R: We learned a lot more about the lifestyle when I found your blog and shared it with Mrs. R. We spent an entire evening reading it, and I think that's when everything clicked for us. I don't know if we can technically define our experience as an ANR, but nursing continues to play a very big part in our marriage.
Mrs. R: I breastfed our son for six months, and when he was weaned, I thought nursing would be over for Mr. R, too. I didn't realize that we could share this as a couple. After I stopped breastfeeding, it was almost three years before we nursed again. I really missed our quiet time together, I missed that closeness and intimacy, so, one evening, I asked if I could nurse him. He was surprised, I think, because there was no milk, but he was willing to try, which is how we discovered that dry nursing is a very real thing.
Mr. R: And we continued to nurse off an on for about six years before recently committing to nurse two to three times a week.
LMM: Lactation is a part of the nursing experience for many couples, but I understand that you have chosen to dry nurse. What led you to make that decision? And did you ever consider re-lactation?
Mrs. R: Because breastfeeding was a new experience for me after our youngest was born, I didn't realize how difficult it could be at times. Our son had latching issues, and I found it hard to handle pumping when I was so busy with our daughters and work and the new baby. Mr. R helped with my milk supply, but after our son was no longer breastfed, I didn't feel the need to continue with lactation.
Mr. R: I enjoyed my wife's milk, and when we decided to start nursing again, I wasn't sure if she would be able to produce milk--or even if she would want to. When I found out about re-lactation, after reading your blog, I did bring up the subject, but she wasn't open to the idea.
Mrs. R: The breast milk was such a nice part of nursing in the past, but I'm not prepared to begin the process all over again at this point in my life. I don't feel that I have the time to manage lactation. He was really supportive of my decision, especially after I told him how excited I was to begin nursing again.
Mr. R: No matter how I felt, I knew that, in the end, the decision of lactation had to be my wife's, and I was fine with that. It was good to talk openly about the idea, and to know that it was an option.
LMM: It's so wonderful to hear from couples who have found their middle ground within the nursing experience. As a couple who has shared a wet nursing experience in the past, can you tell me how the experience differs from what you currently share?
Mrs. R: For me, there really is no difference. I am so happy with the decision we made to dry nurse! We are still sharing special time that means so much to both of us, and the bond is very much the same. We are both learning so much about the experience. I feel very relaxed, knowing that there is no pressure to produce milk, no pressure to maintain a supply. We can just enjoy our quiet time together and grow closer as a couple.
Mr. R: Her breasts give me everything I need. I am finding that milk isn't a necessary part of nursing. I am more than happy to continue this part of our life just the way it is.
LMM: What advice would you give to other couples who are considering opening an ANR, particularly if one partner is reluctant to try nursing?
Mr. R: Men need to get over those communication hurdles. I think they would be surprised to find out how much it will mean to their wives. Mrs. R found a new respect for me when I willingly opened up to her about nursing. I've learned a lot about myself, and about my feelings. I can accept that soft side now. [laughs] I would tell others to be willing to talk--and to try.
Mrs. R: I completely agree with this. I loved that he was so willing to talk about the experience and how it made him feel. That was a very important part of the experience for me. And it still is. Nobody should ever be ashamed of their feelings. Nursing isn't strange or scary. It's been a wonderful part of our marriage. Even without lactation, it can be completely enjoyable and rewarding. Just try it for your partner. You might be pleasantly surprised by what you find!
LMM: Once again, thank you both so much for talking with me, and for openly sharing this part of your life with others. I wish you many more happy years of marriage!
Mr. R: Thank you for giving us the chance to discuss our relationship, and for giving us a place to connect. We really appreciate your approach to adult nursing.
Mrs. R: Finding your site has been wonderful. Thank you so much for everything you're doing. All the best to you!

 Seven More Unique ANR Stories
ONE MAN'S OPINION: The Loving Milk Maid's very own Mr. S discusses his views on the dedicated Adult Nursing Relationship

ISO: LT ANR: Maddie discusses why she no longer searches for the casual nursing relationship

A BEAUTIFUL DISCOVERY: When Samantha and Mr. M opened a loving ANR, they found new levels of love and intimacy that neither had believed possible

MENDING METHOD: Nancy tells how ANR helped to repair a somewhat troubled marriage.

PURE SERENITY: Mr. E shows that love is limitless within the bonds of the marriage he shares with Mrs. D

LONG-DISTANCE LOVE: When her fiancée's career began to cause stressors in his life, Lily discovered the beautiful--and healthy--aspects of ANR

HAPPILY EVER AFTER: Mr. D and Mrs. A help to shed light on the truly beautiful and normal side of the loving long-term ANR

If you would like to share your story with others, please let me know! All interviews are conducted discreetly and anonymously, as a way to protect contributors' privacy.